Women, Powerful and Measured

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women powerful and measured

Women, powerful and measured had come to the forefront of my mind  because yesterday I was reading about a woman who took a good look in the mirror and realized every thought she had regarding every other woman was really based on her own demise. What became apparent was that there is a slow change or an unforeseen dilemma that creeps up on everybody without warning. She blamed other women who were thin, sexy and vivacious for being phony and shallow. She saw her jealous, exorcisty face staring back her and she realized that her “self pitty pit” just got bigger.

I’m not saying I feel all these things that she stated but I did realize one thing, and that is that through out the years I felt an obligation to be a wonderwoman to my family and business. I had to get my hands wet and really dig in and be apart of the planning and strategy of not only the dance business but my daughters life, outside family obligations, cooking, cleaning and the list goes on. I was so much apart of everything that I was spread thin and I didn’t enjoy life, not like I used to.

We all do this to some extent and then we slowly fall apart and wonder why the world has changed so drastically around us when it really is us who has changed. The mirror just like the video camera doesn’t hold back any punches and the reality of what we turn into stares at us no matter what mirror we look into. There is no running from the truth and when any one of us walks into the grocery store or the mall it’s obvious by the way we walk, hold our head up or down where our state of mind is at. Beauty doesn’t stop just because we don’t feel beautiful. Beauty isn’t just a state of mind but a reminder of our self value to the world. We put our own price on what we think we are worth and if we don’t keep up with our own priorities then we lower our worth. It’s human to do this but does it make any sense?

women powerful and measured

I decided to look at myself in a new way this year. I’m not going to look at my weight, wrinkles, grey hairs, or any part of me that bugs me. Add to this I’m turning over a new leaf called “preferred seeing” and with my new eyesight I have chosen to see everything in life with a non judgmental view. I won’t zero in on the things that I wish I didn’t do or should have done. My slate is clean because I chose to clean it. Karma didn’t clean it for me or fate; my free will cleaned it. I found this was a lot easier because I didn’t need to wallow in what I had already experienced plus I realized that I couldn’t enjoy the present with reminders of the past.

So far I have found that my cruise ship is steady because I found that I can handle the waves of the unknown easier being lighter. I found that if I couldn’t face the skeletons in my closet why the hell would I want to teach them to dance? It made no sense to apologize for the past and with the lighter way of life I found that new experiences were coming aboard filling up the space my past memories took up.

As women we tend to take down our entire gender with us especially if we don’t feel valuable. Beautiful women can’t be beautiful for beauties sake and shapely women can’t be in shape for health sake. The ugly in all of us can come out at any given time. But what I noticed is that having a lighter view of the world makes me love being around all those beautiful and vivacious women because they are connected to me as I am to them. I can see that we live in a world that may not always be fair to us and that we have a measuring scale put upon us at birth. But with my “preferred seeing” I can see our legacy from all the powerful women through out time; Cleopatra, Hatshepsut, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Maria Theresa of Austria, Empress Theodora, Isabella I of Castile, Elizabeth I of England, Catherine II of Russia,Queen Victoria and the list goes on.

All the women named above not only made history but they did it their way. Maybe I have spread myself too thin in past years but the way that I figure it as a woman the possibilities are endless to what I can achieve. I just have to remember to relax and take a day off doing what I love to do so that I can achieve all the things I want to but with the right kind of energy and forethought. Sometimes it’s in the not doing of life that we do our best work because a moment, hour or day being just ourselves helps us remember why we are who we are. The best gift we can give to ourselves is peace of mind. A gift that is not measured, critiqued or judged is priceless. It’s truly understanding our place within our family because for most of us we represent and wear our homes with every move and traveling step along with our smiles when we perform on stage.

In the world today we have to make our place just like the most powerful women in history. It’s not always in the fame of life that we are our finest. It’s in the smallest of gestures and thoughtful ways in which we treat each other that count the most. In the end the greatest gift of all is to just be a woman in the company of women. It’s really about being in the moment for joy, bliss and laughter’s sake. You have to find these elements within yourself first before you can enjoy them with other women. So take the time to get to know yourself again or anything else you may find. The journey in life isn’t always about what’s new but what we fail to see.

To add to this blog are photographer extraordinaire Vivien’s amazing photos! Vivien is the one photographer that has made me feel beautiful not just being a woman but being 48 and holding my own! Last photo was from my Sis on Mother’s Day!

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About Leyla Najma

Lifelong professional Belly Dancer dedicated to providing “Belly Dance Instruction That Is Easy To Understand And Learn That Connects The Dots”

Comments

4 Responses to “Women, Powerful and Measured”
  1. aflynn1a says:

    Leyla,

    Hi!! I am loving your photo’s!!! Thank you so much for writing this I really appreciate for you sharing and we can all connect with this!! We can not do ourselves any good if we continue holding onto the past!

    Allison

    • Leyla Najma says:

      Thanks Allison!
      I’m a week late getting out my blog so when I was sitting down relaxing from a full day of moving boxes and stuff I came across an old article in a magazine from over 3 years ago. I cracked up laughing because the gal who wrote the article really had it in for women but it was really her own demons. She realized this but I could relate because there are photos of me with a tiny waist when I was modeling and a 110 pounds. My daughter is like “Mom you really looked different”. I’m like OMG I know!! So that’s why Vivien’s photos are so heart warming for me because she made me feel beautiful again which in the short of it, I suggest we all do something that makes us feel beautiful! It can be anything but we have to realize that it has to be a gift from us to ourselves.

      Go and give yourself a gift of beautiful!!

      Leyla

      • aflynn1a says:

        You know maybe there was a reason for getting your blog out late, maybe it was meant to be…it seems for me anyways that when you blogs come out you write about things that tend to happen to me either recently or in the same week or even the same day!! It’s funny but, just today before I even read you blog I had to dig out a very old video of me dancing…It was a video of me dancing in a recital about 7-8 years ago and back then my image of myself and how I looked was so disorted. As my husband and I were watching the video I turned to him and said Wow, look how skinny and deathly ill I look….back then I did not think that but at 5 ft 1 I just weighed about 98-100 pounds….today my image is different and I must say the last set of pictures that Wendy took of me she was able to capture my beauty and who I truly am!!! Last night I gave a gift to myself!!

        • Leyla Najma says:

          A beautiful gift indeed!
          Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ! If only we could remember to give ourselves a daily gift of gratitude and compassion.
          I’m working on that myself and it looks like you are too! 🙂