The Curve Ball Called Life

Today is the first day in over a week that I can actually sit in front of the computer and type so I have decidedly called this blog, “the curve ball of life” for a reason. I was in a car accident over a week ago and funny thing is, I’m in worse shape then my car.  A guy tried to cross a busy road from a gas station and he had to pull out just as I was driving by. Needless to say it wouldn’t have mattered who the unfortunate soul was that was driving at that very moment of this young man’s risky and obviously poorly timed decision, the collision would have happened.

So for those of you wondering if I dropped off the planet, the answer is no, I just fell off my feet for awhile. It feels good to be back again even if I am hurting. It sucks having work to do and not getting it done. The curve ball called life has no clue when it comes to schedules.

Before last week I was all gung hoe about talking to you guys about something that at this point is an ongoing topic for me so I was trying to figure out how to title it. So I came up with, “weight a minute or weighing in on life.” The weight a minute cracked me up a little and I was going to use it but now the curve ball makes more sense.

My menopause is and has been a real hindrance for me because I use to be the one gal who could lose weight just thinking about it. Since those days are gone at least for now I thought what the heck, I’ll come clean and open up about my chaotic world of weight issues and the drama that I create in my head that makes me even more insane then I already am.

I have been looking up different books on the subject and found a really awesome book that made me laugh by Anne Strieber called, “What I learned from the Fat Years.” What I like about it is the fact that Anne Strieber understands and talks about watching people around her lose weight while the pounds chose to stay on her. But obviously she lost a lot of weight and she explains in her book how she did it. I know that I will have to change my diet to the point that there will be certain foods I just can’t eat anymore but right now I’m not ready to do that. In my head I’m thinking, there has got to be another way. Darn the curve ball called life because this one nails you when you least expect it coming or think it’s improbable that it will be a problem.

I’ve looked at different angles and checked out what is going on with my body. I looked up hormones and melatonin and thought perhaps I wasn’t getting the right kind of sleep I needed. I found out that abdominal weight gain is a part of menopause. The body seems to burn fewer calories and wants to store the fat instead of letting it go. Even though I still enjoy dancing up a storm, it seems that now my life will be about new ways to exercise to help me get back to my old self. My diet is going to be interesting because there is so much out there that I love to eat. In fact eating is such a wonderful social activity. I enjoy meetings over lunch, sister talks over meals, daughter talks over meals or any kind of whatever over meals. I enjoy cooking and I enjoy going to friend’s houses to eat. Maybe it’s the Italian in me but I loved Europe and their laid back way of getting together to enjoy each others company and to feast on amazing meals. Eating can be so romantic like movies. “Water for Chocolate,” or “Chocolate” and “Julie and Julia” are all up my alley. But in order to be a dancer in our world, eating can be our number one enemy.

I’ll admit it, my ego is taking a beating too. I have clothes in my closet that I keep because I know that I will get back to my normal weight…eventually. The curve ball here is always the idea that I will eventually wear my clothes from ten years ago. If I let them go then that means that I will stay in my predicament and that is not an option, period. So my favorite clothes hang on hangers looking back at me as I try to figure out what to do looking back at them with this feeling of defeatism. That word would never have come into my vocabulary otherwise but all I know is that I have been in a state of constant denial for a few years now. So this year is my new quest to find the best way to lose weight and keep it off. The adventure starts really after I publish this blog…so part of what I thought I would do is to make my journey public so that I can’t fib about my progress. Not that I would but sometimes the Pinocchio nose syndrome does get the better of me.

Number one change that I have found is important for a woman my age (I’m almost 49) is that bread is no longer my friend. So that will be my number one change and that will be a bugger because I bake bread weekly for the family. You know that amazing smell that comes from bread baking in the oven that floats over to where you are sitting, luring you to the butter as you wait for it to brown…yup me too but no more.  And my number one Achilles heel is carrot cake so I can’t guarantee that I can keep away from that but I’ll do my best. I may sound like all I do is eat but not really, I’m just coming clean with my feelings about food. Food is apart of my identity and some of my most precious memories have to do with food. When I traveled to Egypt, I ate so many wonderful types of food including my most favorite baked goody, baklava. Sakti Rinek and I would walk the streets of Cairo at night and go to our favorite bakery that served baklava in a variety of ways that would make your mouth water. I also think I equate eating with my favorite experiences, places and people. It’s only human to do so but I must say Cairo was the one country that I traveled to that surpassed all my expectations which include smells, sights, feelings and taste. It was a goulash or a smorgasbord of delights and ever since my travels, food has taken on a different importance in my every day life. I relive my travels and experiences every time I eat and I think this will be the one thing that I will have to mentally change about my new journey on weight loss. Let’s see how I figure this one out?!!

My Aunt and Uncle moved out here from back east and they are the consummate connoisseurs of baking and cooking. My Aunt Melinda can make chocolate candies just like in the movie “Chocolate” and my Uncle Mike can make a Bloody Mary like nobodies business. They make homemade pizza, eggs benedict, and homemade dips and sauces. So this is not going to be easy because every weekend most of the family ventures off to their house to do the one thing we all love…eat! This curve ball goes right in the direction of amazing food so I’ll be staring at my clothes a lot just so I can stay focused. I either fit into my clothes or I’m going to jump off a cliff, well not really but in my mind the cliff is there and I’m at the edge.

So my journey will start on Cinco de Mayo. I thought it would be fitting to start on a holiday that remembers family members who have passed on with the celebration of food and music. I’ll keep a log on my journey and no matter if I go off course or not, you’ll know because I’ll be writing about it. If anyone else out there wants to start their weight journey along with me, let’s all go for it and see where we are months down the road. Hopefully I will be wearing my clothes instead of staring at them.

Bon Appetit!

Check out my membership site www.bellydancevillage.com and get the best in on-line belly dance instruction!