Okay…maybe I am getting myself in trouble here but I’ve had this on my list of things to talk about…I was wondering what your thoughts were about the changes in dance instruction. Including into this is of course on-line belly dance classes. What I thought I would do is give you my take on things and then hopefully those of you who comment in will give me yours. I think all viewpoints are necessary in making the carousel of life go round. I’m hoping for varied viewpoints and thoughts on the matter so I’m crossing my fingers you will write in. Even if you aren’t a fan of on-line classes all comments are welcome so don’t be shy.

First off I know that on-line classes are a mixed bag for studio trained and experienced dancers who are old school in their views regarding the problems that can arise from on-line classes especially for beginners.But Daniel and I decided to do the on-line classes because we both felt that there dance enthusiasts living in isolated areas, economically strapped, the single parent or both parents who worked who deserved the chance to learn. Daniel did a survey and we sent it out to dancers from all over with different levels of dance expertise. What we received back really surprised us both. The questions asked ranged from what would you like to see in class to what are your problem areas and the obvious questions of location, teacher availability and class time versus family time. There were multiple questions we asked but these are just a few to give you and idea of what we were looking for.

First off, some experienced dancers loved their teachers but they wanted more instruction than they were getting in class. On-line classes gave them this opportunity in the privacy of their own home and some felt this was better because they didn’t want to upset their teachers by telling them they wanted more instruction. Some women who wanted to continue their dance instruction couldn’t afford to go to classes anymore with the gas crunch that came our way 5 years ago. Others found that work hours didn’t allow them the time they needed for dance and surprisingly we had women write in who didn’t like their teachers or they had problems with other students in class and on-line classes gave them a way out. I love that I work with teachers because I’m able to share with them ideas for class time along with my philosophy on dance and students. Sharing curriculum ideas is the best part!

Location and teacher availability was way up on the list with women checking out my website and we received emails from dancers who traveled two hours one way or more for dance classes. This includes either no teachers in specific areas or sporadic workshops that dancers had to travel far to go to. The survey went out to dancers and students from all over the world so those who wrote in from Australia or from different locations in South Africa wanted options. I had women who lived in rural areas here in the States and Canada that had no teachers at all. There were women taking belly dance instruction from videos who told us they belly danced after the kids went to bed or others in the morning before work. I’ve had dancers say they love the option of practicing during lunch time. My main concern was for women who wouldn’t have the chance at all because of where they lived. Let’s remember, I lived on ranches hours away from any towns and in those days (I’m telling my age here) there was nothing on the internet in the way of classes, it just wasn’t thought of yet. I had videos that saved the day and the dancers who made them are appreciated to this day more then they will ever know.

Personally, I know that a live teacher in a classroom is the best case scenario for any student of dance. Believe it or not there are women out there who don’t want to be in a room with other women or men and they want to learn in the privacy of their own home. This is why I offer private classes now because I want to be able to work with beginners or the private dancer who won’t go to a studio. For myself, I love workshops, always have and always will because I’ve made wonderful friends and I’ve learned from the best teachers in the business. The expense for dancers now is a debate for students who put time and effort into something they are passionate about. With my accident and other ingredients put into the money pot, there won’t be any trips to workshops this year. A side note here, I will be preparing to do workshops next year so we are planning on the green light for that.

Workshops have always been important to me and I always suggest to dancers to go to as many workshops as possible. We all know that belly dance magazines are a wonderful place to find out who is teaching where and the dates that allow for a time frame because most of us have to save up in order to go. Yaa Halla, Y’all is a really good gathering for some of the finest dance teachers around. Every year Isis brings in a diverse array of dance styles, teaching techniques and dance stars for the professional or beginner aficionado of belly dance. There are a few Isis has brought in who do on-line belly dance classes as well. Isis is also the publisher of “The Belly Dance Chronicles” besides being a top notch and refined dancer and teacher. Isis has allowed me to write about on-line belly dance classes in past issues and Daniel and I were featured in an article for the April/May/June issue. On-line classes are getting popular and with today’s modern dancer, it’s obvious they are here to stay. I keep hearing through the grapevine that more belly dance teachers are looking at on-line belly dance classes even those who balked at the idea when we first came out with my classes.

Following dancers is exciting and with the on-line classes I have had the chance to meet women who I would never have met otherwise. Let’s face it; unless we are jet-setters, own our own planes and have stashes of cash within hands reach, traveling is usually on a budget. I would love to go to South Africa or Australia, Ireland and the list goes on…so the second best way is talking to women from these countries and finding out about dance in their communities. Belly dance is booming and I think one reason is the availability within the drop of a finger, YouTube and the fact that Shakira and other dancers have brought it into the main stream media. I’ve had the chance to create choreographies for a sister group called Sparx and soloist Kimberlee Ann Lopez. They are popular here in New Mexico and both Sparx and Kimberlee have a growing fan base that is changing with new fusion dance styles. Belly dance is changing the way the younger generation sees singing and dancing because they would most likely not see belly dance moves unless they were interested in learning our dance form. I ended up seeing many of my combinations in both shows and seeing the moves done well. Professional entertainers practice until perfect so they were a delight to teach. They wouldn’t have found me without my on-line classes so even top entertainers are looking for our dance on the internet.

Along with the on-line classes I have found that many dancers ask me specific questions on how to set up studios, workshops and productions. The more a student gets involved in her dancing the more doors open and ideas come to life. It’s not just enough to dance in shows, eventually dancers want to produce shows or bring in their favorite dancers. I love dance plays and anymore those are the only shows I like to produce. They are hard work and a labor of love because following a script and bringing in dancers to play characters isn’t as easy as it seems. But I have found that because I have to follow a script with my on-line classes that I am more comfortable setting up a schedule for projects. Since I have been teaching in front of a camera I’m more detailed when I’m explaining things in a private class or workshops. The on-line classes have changed how I teach because the student is in my mind and I have to answer all her questions within that class before it’s over. The on-line classes actually encompass so much besides just dance that I think they become a link for dancers who want to know what is happening with belly dance including news, workshops, new fusion dances and the latest gossip. Yes…let’s be honest, gossip is apart of all facets of life even belly dance or I should say especially in belly dance.

The drawbacks are obvious to on-line classes and I think if any teacher who teaches on-line doesn’t admit to these then they aren’t being honest with their students or themselves. I can’t see my students, that’s obviously the number one problem. How do I know they are doing the move right and how do they know they are doing the move right if they are a beginner? Watching student’s videos help immensely but not all my students want to send in a video of themselves. If they are living on a budget most likely they don’t have a video camera. Phones can take short videos now but I prefer performances or in home demonstrations of what they are doing in their dance. Number two is I miss the live classes I use to teach and the relating to real students. I tend to talk to myself way more now then I use to and I think it’s because I talk in a room by myself in front of a camera for an imaginary student that’s not there. If I wasn’t nuts before, this could actually do me in!! Number three is I love working on choreographies with students and helping them create their own signature moves. This doesn’t happen all the time like it use to unless I get hired for private classes. Workshops are fun and I look forward to them even more so now because of the interaction with dancers and students.

The big plus with the on-line classes for me is that Hip Phylosophy has grown because it’s a mix of my take on what belly dance is besides a changing community curriculum. It’s so rewarding when dancers take what they have learned and grow with it and make it theirs. I think on-line belly dance classes help exchange ideas and when we can talk to each other about problems with performing, opposition hips, curriculums and choreography it makes us all a community without borders. Since we have advertized and placed Hip Phylosophy in the main stream media, I feel an obligation to research the history of belly dance learning new tid bits of information every day. I’m in love with anything Egyptian and when I lived in Egypt I realized that the history is what makes it so mind shattering because you can actually touch and see it for yourself. So to me in a way this is what on-line belly dance classes have done for belly dance. Where in the past it was accessible only to those who were fortunate to live in big cities or in towns that had teachers and studios now women can learn anywhere they live. Today if a student finds she loves belly dance, the accessibility to learn and find other students of belly dance is easier. And we all know that if a woman is passionate about something enough…she will find ways to study it further. If on-line belly dance classes give enthused students a helping hand then the community is blessed with one more dancer that might one day be on the covers of belly dance magazines and teaching workshops herself. It’s the helping hand aspect of on-line belly dance classes that gives me a sense of pride. I was one of those dancers years ago that only had my enthusiasm, determination and passion to guide me. My how times have changed!

Week Two on my Trail Blazing Diet path

This week I am on new Thyroid pills from Solaray called Thyroid Caps to help balance and stabilize my body. So far so good and now I’m on my third day and I actually feel better than I have in a long time. You know how you can feel bad and that is the new norm but once you start to feel good again it’s amazing to think feeling bad was normal.. It’s kind of weird.

You would have been proud of me…I was at this great restaurant called Flying Star that specializes in baked goods. I didn’t have my carrot cake but days later I caved for a piece of keylime pie. I was dissapointed in myself but I have done good on the cheeze and bread. My daughter and I have been going on 1/12 hour walks and that is going well. Mother’s Day no bread and no baked goods. That was a good day and I hope all you Momma’s out there had an awesome time too!

www.bellydancevillage.com and www.leyla-najma.com are both my pride and joy (thanks to Daniel) so feel free to check them out!

Are drama queens born not made? Was I a little drama queen when I was little…I don’t think so because my parents had the paddle of dread. Does this title only have to do with girls and not boys? I don’t think hormones or gender has anything to do with emotional outbursts but more to do with attitudes, circumstances and stress. In my twenties, people used to tell me I was the easiest going person they knew. Travel twenty something years into the future and now I am a bit of a neurotic, paranoid and worn out dancer that looks a little tattered. It’s not just life but the choices I made, the consequences of those choices and the people that were apart of those choices.  I think all the above helped to develop the drama queen but I was the artist, the sculptured figure and choreographer of my dance destiny.

In the beginning of my dance career, it seemed that the magical and wonderful world of dance offered me choices only dreams are made of. But as the years past, I realized that I was amongst many dancers who were choosing to become belly dancers too, in other words it’s only a matter of time before heads roll and tongues wag. I can remember the high school drama of, “Oh, she’s just jealous,” and the comments of, “They just don’t like me,” being common among the girls I went to school with. In theater we learn about drama in the acting sense but what about outside the theater? The more theatrical an actor is, the more drama he or she emotes so would this mean that since we are on stage, then we emote this drama off stage as well? It’s the embellishment of emotions and reactions to life that makes a drama queen even more over the top but in saying this…too many drama queens grouped together can suck the air out of any room.

I love attractive people and most of my friends are beautiful so perhaps there’s this part of me that believes success is part of a package deal. I really think a person has to work hard at being ugly. For example, my daughter’s biological father could be a Brad Pitt stand in but by the time I had Savanah, you couldn’t pay me to stay with him. He had exhausted even the most obvious and simplest elements of attraction. So is a beautiful person more prone to become a drama queen? In many ways I think it’s a mindset of persistent opinions, a slight passive aggressive trait and self importance. Well…okay beautiful people tend to get away with more crap then the average person. In my book I write about a beautiful dance friend of mine that I used to do shows with at restaurants and nightclubs and I found that sometimes I was invisible. Holding my ground sometimes felt like I was in a world of unfair standards and I finally understood I either had to focus on my dancing or crawl back under my rock.

One time we walked into a huge room of excited patrons waiting for a Persian singer to perform. The atmosphere was electric and we found that our music was already with the DJ and we were up next. The concert hostess unfortunately didn’t know how to manage things well and everything was chaotic and off schedule. If we wouldn’t have walked into the concert hall at the time we did, we wouldn’t have known we were up to dance. This group knew my friend well and everyone was yelling her name. A few people asked me who I was as we passed by but I didn’t have time to talk because our music was starting which was odd especially since we weren’t introduced properly to the crowd. I ran up to the stage and started to perform, a little out of breath with a frenzy kind of energy that started to take over me. All I knew was that I was so happy to be on stage, it was heaven, it was divine inspiration and all eyes were upon us. We ended with a drum solo that was from one of Hossam Ramzy’s CDs. We rocked the concert hall; I mean how can you not with his music?!! Everyone was yelling and I ended with a Turkish drop. Did they applaud…I can only vaguely remember but when we ran back through the crowd people were yelling at me, touching me as I went by, smiling their approval. It was the first time I felt like my dance spoke louder then any anxiety or insecurity I had. After that experience I realized that my insecurity of feeling inadequate could have brought out the drama queen in me. I don’t act out, I become quiet and self absorbed with a despondent manner to my mood. So my next question…is ego another facet of a drama queen or is it created through insecure thoughts that are backed by shallow achievements? Let’s face it, success comes and goes like the wind, what steadies us is the building blocks of our foundation.

I wonder how different a drama queen is from an egotistical person or are they cousins. Maybe they are opposite sides of the same coin and then there is a possibility of them being the same coin. There is such a thing as drama therapy. It’s a therapeutic remedy that includes, role playing, theater games, group dynamic games, mime and puppetry. The whole point of this kind of therapy is to help a person solve problems, discover hidden truths about themselves, catharsis (emotional release) and unhealthy patterns. By the way, Aristotle was the originator of this term called catharsis. There’s a good book out on the subject of drama therapy called “Drama as Therapy: Theory, practice and research,”by Phil Jones. It would be interesting as dancers if we looked at our habitual hehavior and characteristic in a way that allows for self evaluation. After the last show I produced I spent a year doing just this. It’s so important to stay healthy in this business so we don’t go off the deep end head first.

Let’s take the drama queen a little further…so what if we come across a well trained and proficient drama queen who has the passive-aggressive behavior down. I talked to my psychologist friend and she told me it’s a misused word that has become very popular in the last couple of years. I even remember hearing it on the “The Real Housewives of New York City” series where they used it multiple times through out that particular season. Some descriptions state that the passive-aggressive personality is a result from being discouraged to not show emotions growing up or it simply wasn’t allowed.  Another definition states that a passive-aggressive person acts out by procrastinating or by showing resentment after the fact. They don’t take responsibility for their actions and they turn the tables on others. Can any of you remember shows, or any projects that you took on with this type of personality? There seems to be various degrees of this type of personality and it seems to fit as part of the description of a drama queen.

I was thinking back to some experiences I have had with different dancers through out the last five years and I realize that dance can’t be a band aid or quick fix for emotional problems. Oh, and I am including myself here so please no emails from dancers thinking I’m pointing a finger. If there’s anybody who’s in the forefront of this statement…I’m willing to put myself here first. If we keep our sanity only in the office or work place and allow ourselves to go bonkers in our dance careers then I think we defeat our purpose for dancing. Belly dance is a therapy for the body, mind, soul and emotions and if we leverage it as a measuring stick to see how far we can go without taking care of ourselves then we will find that down the line we will be worse for the wear. Years ago, I had a plant maintenance business that did well but I was constantly running ahead of a large invisible rolling rock just slightly behind me and a few times it came a little too close for comfort. I was constantly traveling in my car and since I wasn’t listening to the signs to slow down, the Universe decided to do me a big favor by getting my attention through an accident. It got my attention and shortly after that I realized I had no time for myself and that the only person that was really suffering was me. I was exhausted and tired all the time due to my business, studio and then I danced on the weekends and then the gigs… Needless to say I wasn’t centered and my emotional state suffered at a cost not only to myself but to my family. Students seemed to sense I was down for the count and some liked seeing me there while others were amazing and pulled me up from my bootstraps. Sometimes when  you are in a leadership role students don’t understand you are just as human as they are. I finally said to my daughter, I’m ready for a break. So I focused on my dancing in a way that made sense for me, and Hip Phylosophy became a prominent curriculum that sustains itself by continually giving me joy and inspiration. My dance became my muse and the drama queen in me became less and less recognizable. Letting the plant maintenance and studio go were blessings in disguise.

How can we get along and keep a peaceful relationship with each other? I think in the end we can have opinions without agendas, ideas without criticism and be the consummate supporter of individual creativity instead of opposing each others inspiration. The drama queen only thinks of herself, her problems and life’s ill-fated deck of cards dealt her way. Life is a game of chance but if we play with a positive attitude then maybe we can find that even if we don’t always win, we can at least be thankful we are in a position to play. Sometimes being at the table of life is enough.

Trail Blazing Diet News

Onto the diet news…no cheese, bread and at this point I’m doing okay. I’m staying away from fries and enjoying salads more. I have lettuce growing in the back yard and it’s wonderful. I still can’t dance yet, the chiropractor says no but I’m crossing my fingers for next week. Once I can dance again and keep up with my walks I think I’ll see changes. Also talked to my aunt who’s a nurse about the thyroid and she suggested I look into thyroid pills for help. Once I get them I’ll share what they are. Menopause or not, I’m on my way and ready to lose weight! Thanks for all your help and I am also looking into everything you all suggested. Thank you all for your support!!

Look for my book “The Divine Unrest”!!! Coming soon!!!

www.bellydancevillage.com

Today is the first day in over a week that I can actually sit in front of the computer and type so I have decidedly called this blog, “the curve ball of life” for a reason. I was in a car accident over a week ago and funny thing is, I’m in worse shape then my car.  A guy tried to cross a busy road from a gas station and he had to pull out just as I was driving by. Needless to say it wouldn’t have mattered who the unfortunate soul was that was driving at that very moment of this young man’s risky and obviously poorly timed decision, the collision would have happened.

So for those of you wondering if I dropped off the planet, the answer is no, I just fell off my feet for awhile. It feels good to be back again even if I am hurting. It sucks having work to do and not getting it done. The curve ball called life has no clue when it comes to schedules.

Before last week I was all gung hoe about talking to you guys about something that at this point is an ongoing topic for me so I was trying to figure out how to title it. So I came up with, “weight a minute or weighing in on life.” The weight a minute cracked me up a little and I was going to use it but now the curve ball makes more sense.

My menopause is and has been a real hindrance for me because I use to be the one gal who could lose weight just thinking about it. Since those days are gone at least for now I thought what the heck, I’ll come clean and open up about my chaotic world of weight issues and the drama that I create in my head that makes me even more insane then I already am.

I have been looking up different books on the subject and found a really awesome book that made me laugh by Anne Strieber called, “What I learned from the Fat Years.” What I like about it is the fact that Anne Strieber understands and talks about watching people around her lose weight while the pounds chose to stay on her. But obviously she lost a lot of weight and she explains in her book how she did it. I know that I will have to change my diet to the point that there will be certain foods I just can’t eat anymore but right now I’m not ready to do that. In my head I’m thinking, there has got to be another way. Darn the curve ball called life because this one nails you when you least expect it coming or think it’s improbable that it will be a problem.

I’ve looked at different angles and checked out what is going on with my body. I looked up hormones and melatonin and thought perhaps I wasn’t getting the right kind of sleep I needed. I found out that abdominal weight gain is a part of menopause. The body seems to burn fewer calories and wants to store the fat instead of letting it go. Even though I still enjoy dancing up a storm, it seems that now my life will be about new ways to exercise to help me get back to my old self. My diet is going to be interesting because there is so much out there that I love to eat. In fact eating is such a wonderful social activity. I enjoy meetings over lunch, sister talks over meals, daughter talks over meals or any kind of whatever over meals. I enjoy cooking and I enjoy going to friend’s houses to eat. Maybe it’s the Italian in me but I loved Europe and their laid back way of getting together to enjoy each others company and to feast on amazing meals. Eating can be so romantic like movies. “Water for Chocolate,” or “Chocolate” and “Julie and Julia” are all up my alley. But in order to be a dancer in our world, eating can be our number one enemy.

I’ll admit it, my ego is taking a beating too. I have clothes in my closet that I keep because I know that I will get back to my normal weight…eventually. The curve ball here is always the idea that I will eventually wear my clothes from ten years ago. If I let them go then that means that I will stay in my predicament and that is not an option, period. So my favorite clothes hang on hangers looking back at me as I try to figure out what to do looking back at them with this feeling of defeatism. That word would never have come into my vocabulary otherwise but all I know is that I have been in a state of constant denial for a few years now. So this year is my new quest to find the best way to lose weight and keep it off. The adventure starts really after I publish this blog…so part of what I thought I would do is to make my journey public so that I can’t fib about my progress. Not that I would but sometimes the Pinocchio nose syndrome does get the better of me.

Number one change that I have found is important for a woman my age (I’m almost 49) is that bread is no longer my friend. So that will be my number one change and that will be a bugger because I bake bread weekly for the family. You know that amazing smell that comes from bread baking in the oven that floats over to where you are sitting, luring you to the butter as you wait for it to brown…yup me too but no more.  And my number one Achilles heel is carrot cake so I can’t guarantee that I can keep away from that but I’ll do my best. I may sound like all I do is eat but not really, I’m just coming clean with my feelings about food. Food is apart of my identity and some of my most precious memories have to do with food. When I traveled to Egypt, I ate so many wonderful types of food including my most favorite baked goody, baklava. Sakti Rinek and I would walk the streets of Cairo at night and go to our favorite bakery that served baklava in a variety of ways that would make your mouth water. I also think I equate eating with my favorite experiences, places and people. It’s only human to do so but I must say Cairo was the one country that I traveled to that surpassed all my expectations which include smells, sights, feelings and taste. It was a goulash or a smorgasbord of delights and ever since my travels, food has taken on a different importance in my every day life. I relive my travels and experiences every time I eat and I think this will be the one thing that I will have to mentally change about my new journey on weight loss. Let’s see how I figure this one out?!!

My Aunt and Uncle moved out here from back east and they are the consummate connoisseurs of baking and cooking. My Aunt Melinda can make chocolate candies just like in the movie “Chocolate” and my Uncle Mike can make a Bloody Mary like nobodies business. They make homemade pizza, eggs benedict, and homemade dips and sauces. So this is not going to be easy because every weekend most of the family ventures off to their house to do the one thing we all love…eat! This curve ball goes right in the direction of amazing food so I’ll be staring at my clothes a lot just so I can stay focused. I either fit into my clothes or I’m going to jump off a cliff, well not really but in my mind the cliff is there and I’m at the edge.

So my journey will start on Cinco de Mayo. I thought it would be fitting to start on a holiday that remembers family members who have passed on with the celebration of food and music. I’ll keep a log on my journey and no matter if I go off course or not, you’ll know because I’ll be writing about it. If anyone else out there wants to start their weight journey along with me, let’s all go for it and see where we are months down the road. Hopefully I will be wearing my clothes instead of staring at them.

Bon Appetit!

Check out my membership site www.bellydancevillage.com and get the best in on-line belly dance instruction!

The purpose for belly dancing is as varied as the women who are attracted to the bling and colorful fabrics and tapestries that are so detailed in imaginations and stories told. It’s the before and after collective experiences that determine how our journey will take off and what will make it endure. As a woman in the belly dance field for over 20 years, I wanted to share some insights and the after effects that changed me, partially being responsible for making me the woman that I am today.

Am I any more secure within myself today? That’s a good question because in some ways I’m a warrior woman with a sixth sense when it comes to trouble. On the other hand I’m about as green as you can get when it comes to trusting people because I always believe in the best of who people are. I’ve had situations were I was shook  to my core making me even more unsure of my next steps in dance and life. The collective experiences of my dance world and life are a mix of the good, the bad and the ugly. I actually think they are all necessary in order for me to grow and mature. I will admit that there have been lessons I’ve endured that weren’t my cup of tea and I wondered why the heck I had to go through them. I’ve even put out an invisible sign to the Universe stating no more unnecessary lessons. I know some of you may be thinking, how would I know what’s necessary and what isn’t. I call it a gut feeling, my own morse code to God. Sometimes in the middle of drama I don’t always hear what he has to say and even with my gut feeling gnawing away at me, I march forward with a trance like determination. Why this happens is another one of those mysteries of human nature or maybe it’s called being a glutton for punishment. Our collective experiences from what I’ve learned are filed away into different categories I call the “the eternal circle of life.”

These categories are:

Spiritual Awakening–The epiphanies of self discovery including dance, family and philosophy based on religion, research and cultural esthetics.

Physical Awakening–Becoming aware of who you are as a human being and becoming comfortable with your body.

Community Compatibility–This includes your dance community as well as your family and career.

Self Compatibility–Finding peace within yourself and becoming your best friend.

Career Choice–Learning how to develop a passion into a career and finding the difference between making a living and having a hobby.

Family Choice–Finding the balance between self discovery and passion and family dynamics.

Financial Options–Hobby or Career choice, the ultimate decision.

Location Options–Living in a large city for night club options and family or small city or town for personal recreation and family.

Dance isn’t a simple choice when you really look at what it entails and what it takes to be a professional or the necessary skills just to perform. Our collective experiences affect choreographies that entertain the masses besides allowing us to express our own individual interpretations of the world around us. In this regard, the spiritual aspect of how we were raised and what we accept as our beliefs seems to be placed in our dance concepts by habitual living and thinking.  I remember when I first performed in front of my parents, the feeling was almost like dancing naked but in my case it wasn’t just an assumed improper dance but the fact I was their daughter doing an exotic dance that seemed to be pushing the envelope of  what they thought inappropriate. They didn’t seem to get that dance explored and released inhibitions. I was on the winning end because as the years passed I freed myself from those self imposed rules that weren’t mine to begin with. But I must be honest here; there have been times where those preconceived ideals put me in a category that was not much better off then a prostitute. The subtleties of dance can be interpreted by view points that make self expression wrong and dirty. That is why I always say I am spiritual, not religious. It’s because of dance and life experiences that I have learned to be tolerant of other people’s intolerances. In this respect dance made me a better person, more open to religions, perceptions, ideologies and philosophies. But God always puts pot holes in the road of life that keep me humble because I do fall inspite of myself.

I realized that belly dance became my number one band-aide. In the beginning of my dancing I was a size 2 and stayed that way until I hit my early 40’s. Those days are long gone but I find today that my full figure is hour glass shaped…well if I hold in my stomach and lift my chest and stand at an angle. In some ways belly dance has made me more aware of how mortal I really am, almost like an average woman on the street who is like a long lost relative I never got to know. How many of us walk through life with a smile on our faces because we are the total embodiment of the Oriental dancer. We are no longer the definition of societies assumed version of what a woman is, belly dance makes us redefine not only in our roles as women but our own analysis of what we think we are. I have changed my opinion of myself hundreds of times and it’s not just because I have matured, it’s because of the different stages of my dance career that made this so. My mortality is emphasized more now because I spent so much time being the entertainer that I didn’t get comfortable with myself and now I am left with getting to know the mortal me. The costumes, bling, make-up and details of my alter ego left no time to be ordinary, humble or the typical woman of today. The band-aid was covering my insecurities about being forgotten or as non-descript as anybody walking down the street. It has become clear to me that entertainers have more desires and needs to be appreciated then the average person. It’s not always a bad thing but a necessary characteristic to get ahead in a world that judges us not only on how we look but how we play the part.

What is a dance community? Is it a bunch of women getting to know each other in a way that works? Dance communities include glaring, hissing, whispering and some cat claws ready for unforeseen altercations. I’m talking about studios, teachers, students joining together in order to enjoy passions alike and good times. It’s possible but it seems there are always those unspoken words that spill out in those opportune times that really are inconvenient especially for anyone who has to deal with the drama. It’s almost like the joy of creating choreographies makes an insecure measuring stick that appears out of private and unspoken insecurities. The self appointed critic is born and the measuring  stick is either her abilities as a dancer or the lack of. I had a gal who used to tell me my arms needed work. (I knew they needed work and I enjoyed the process of working on them as I do still to this day.) She was a dancer in my town who appointed herself the arm expert of our community. The funny thing was from the first time I saw her perform, I felt her dancing was boring but I didn’t say anything because it was just my observation. Her dancing was her business. But she made my dancing her business and I found that as time passed, she could never get herself out of the rut that kept her own dance stagnant. Observing dance is different then critiquing others creative expression. Yes, we don’t always like what we see but that’s not really the problem. The problem comes from someone who never sets higher goals for themselves because they are so busy watching others succeed or falter. The habit of measuring can become more important then dance itself.

At this juncture in my life I have found that all of my collective experiences have made me mellower, more pensive and less paranoid. Yes, I did say paranoid because I was always worried if I was perceived in a positive light by my peers and the general public. It’s not that I don’t give a hoot about what people think anymore  but I can handle the negative comments easier now. I didn’t want to have thick skin but it has come in handy and I’m appreciative that I can’t feel the occasional stings of the daggered tongue. Being called passive aggressive was funny but more importantly I learned that people throw curve balls when they don’t like the truth. Any truth but their own is an absurdity but yet this is something that I had to learn about myself. I am the same way, especially if I don’t want to hear what someone else thinks. Yup, thick skin only goes so far but what do we do about our ears? Women are more then likely to be harder on their own gender because they base their insecurities on their own mirrored fears. Our own gender mirrors back to us what we know about ourselves yet that which we don’t want to address or admit to.

Compatibility with myself means that I’ve stopped pointing fingers at my constituents and that I’ve learned that the mirror has to reflect back who I really am whether I like it or not. At least the peace of mind that I have found when I look in the mirror is the fact that I can always put make-up on, fix my hair and change what I don’t like. Little changes, big changes, it doesn’t matter as long as I focus on myself and not someone else.

When I was in the middle of dancing in night clubs, restaurants and weekly gigs, it didn’t occur to me that I made a choice for my family in regards to my career choice. I mean, hey, I was an Oriental dancer and I was already dancing by the time I thought to ask anybody but in some ways I wonder if  I was fare with my expectations with family and friends. The duel personality syndrome was one aspect that developed along with my dancing. The rise and fall of a dance gig and my exhausted short temper the next morning especially from a late night gig was to be expected. Being “on” 4 to 5 nights a week took its toll and my career choice was a huge part of my relationship dramas that seemed to escalate as my career succeeded. I can see now that I was being selfish but back then  from my viewpoint, as long as people enjoyed my dancing and I was busy working that’s all that mattered. I was in the entertainer twilight zone, performing fast and furiously and my family had to figure out what to do about it because I was too busy. Yeah well, it was the perfect storm because there is no relationship that can survive  this self absorbed attitude. When I saw what I was doing, it was devastating to see what I put my family through but with the restraint to keep my family life together I learned that my career choice was only a success if my family life was a success.

When I came to Albuquerque, New Mexico, I left a wonderful career back in Texas and had to start back to square one. My dance friends in New Mexico didn’t know what I had achieved in Texas and to a certain extent they didn’t care because they were so busy dancing themselves. So I had to start from scratch and in some ways it affected my dance career because it took time for me to build it back up again. Once I was able to do this, I was not surprised that I had to deal with dance acquaintances who didn’t like me coming back, making a place for myself. Everywhere I’ve gone I’ve had to work my way up which I find exhilarating and challenging. Small towns are not the places to make a living with Oriental dance but if you are in favor of keeping the family peace then opportunities have to be self created. The on-line classes have not only been a saving grace but a wonderful dance experience. The productions I’ve co-produced were challenging, a pain in the butt but great learning experiences. I didn’t make money from them which I will change in the next one I decide to produce myself. I am worth a paycheck! What you make in your salary is based on what you think you are worth. I no longer work for free, I make a better living now with my dancing and I focus on what I need to do. It’s a good life, one that I learn from everyday. The best thing is that I am my own boss and I like deciding what I will do each day. Some days I work on Sundays and I work until midnight many nights but then I can take a day off and have fun with my family.

Our collective experiences seem to bring us back to planet earth. There is nothing like doing what you love and being able to share it with family and friends. If there is anything I’ve learned it’s that being self absorbed cut me off from the most important people in my life. I can say it, I hung with people who liked me because I was a belly dancer and I made time for shallow companions who were in the moment opportunists. Looking in the mirror is being able to say to yourself, “I told you so.” What I see now is what’s important to me, family, friends and a peace of mind that comes from seeing the forest for the trees. The blinders are finally off and my reflection is the real me. Yeah, not perfect but at least happy, the Oriental dancer grown up.

Check out my membership site www.bellydancevillage.com for the best in on-line belly dance instruction.

Thanks to Vivien Skupskis for her wonderful photos!!

Sometimes I think I’m falling off the wagon…okay the belly dance wagon.  This phrase actually came from prohibition times when as a rule women would go from town to town on a wagon and preach against drinking. If they could get a drunk to ride around with them and get him sober they felt it helped their cause. Even though our wagon is different, sometimes an unexpected bump in the road causes me to fall off the wagon wondering how the heck to get back on or sometimes wondering if I even want to get back on.

As of late I have been reading different opinions on our dance and I’ve been slowly taking these varied ideals in like a sponge. As the years have gone by different attitudes seem to permeate and effect the changes in our dance field. And I don’t know if I agree with everything I read. I like to see  people’s different perspectives on things but sometimes I think that opinions have specific agendas behind them. And of course I’m the pot calling the kettle black here because I have my own views on dance that not everyone agrees with.

I have occasionally been the hypocrite because I didn’t allow my students to drink on the job. Years ago, I actually had a glass of wine in between shows and finally acquired a problem with the so called “wine bottle” syndrome. I come from an Italian family so we enjoy our drinks but there is a point where a drink here and there adds up to a problem. The one time I did have a student drink happened to be when a local group had weekly shows at a tavern an hour away east from town. She decided to start an argument with various dancers and brought up my name and studio.  This happened unbeknownst to me because the following week when I brought some of my students to perform at the same tavern for open dancing, I was confronted at the door by the angry dancers caught in the argument of the prier week. I calmed them down and told them she didn’t represent my studio or business that I did. They didn’t get her name and when I confronted my students at my studio the following week about what happened no one was willing to confess so to this day I have no idea who it was. That was the first time I was knocked off the wagon by one of my own students because after that incident we were never invited back to the tavern.

The gig question I’ve mentioned before in another post but I’m not really sure what the problem is for some dancers regarding belly dance gigs. Belly dancers have been doing gigs way before I started to belly dance which was over 20 years ago, a drop in the bucket. Belly dance gigs were apart of the way I was brought up in belly dance. Now according to some dancers, the gigs should be a thing of the past. I agree some gigs were not exactly what I thought they would be but the only reason I stopped doing them was because of my age. I’ll be honest here, what comes with age is a life time of accumulated impatience especially when it comes to people’s ignorance of our dance. But in 18 years of dance gigs, not all were degrading and my most favorite parties were for friends, some Arabs and Persians and let’s not forget the corporate gigs. Maybe my falling off the wagon was my preference to be on stage. It’s my first love. After awhile I just got tired of some people comparing me to a stripper but in saying this I realize that if I was dancing in nightclubs instead of small town restaurants I wouldn’t have had this problem. Smaller towns or cities seem to generate a laid back attitude of cultural ignorance. It’s a coin toss up in the air and how you decide to read the outcome depends on your dance experience.

The click mentality has been around since the beginning of Eve but here’s my thought on this one, there is a part of me that is so tired of seeing dance acquaintances or community politics decide our value as a dancer, teacher or person. I’ve worked with people in shows who haven’t spoken to me since these shows. We all put in our part and I must say with all our creative efforts, I wonder why some people think its okay to disown a friendship already in progress? I’m not talking about close friends here, I’m talking about those who partake in shows if invited and then you never hear from them again unless you decide to produce another show. I know in life we find out who we don’t mesh with but effort has to have some worth at least in the large scope of things. Sometimes effort is misinterpreted and exchanged for shortcomings in people’s minds. They see the cup as half empty instead of half full and rising. If we all rose together, the wagon would be full of merrymaking dancers who you aren’t telling your life story to because you are too busy living your life story with them.

Sometimes I wonder if some of my students of days past think I don’t care about them. In keeping with my philosophy on dance, I have turned students out before they felt they were ready to leave my nest. I had this happen with my very first teacher, Dina who shooed me out the door after 6 months. She felt I needed the tutelage of Sakti Rinek and you know what…Dina was right! At the year point I tend to do this to my students because once they start on their own choreographies and gain confidence to perform I feel it’s important to continue study with new and different teachers. Everybody has something to share, teach and I know with the many teachers that I have had my lightbulb moments came when one teacher explained something in a way I could understand. Verbiage is unique amongst teachers so a demonstration with the right words can change a feeling of “I didn’t get that to an elated, I got it moment”. I studied from so many teachers and I feel they are the soil that started my growth in this dance. Remembering my teachers keeps the soil rich with memories of each of them and this keeps my foundation strong. If I am ever overshadowed it is only my willingness to see my limitations through others actions and words. Each teacher I had who nurtured me through out the years has helped me grow out of my own self criticism. If I have fallen off the wagon here it has been my own insecurities listening to what I think others are saying. It doesn’t matter if the words seem real, what matters is how I react to them.

I took this year off of all engagements, workshops and shows to regroup and get my mojo back. I thought that if I didn’t dance every chance that came my way, I would be letting the belly dance experience slip through my fingers. I’m older now and I feel that if I don’t look at my path and see where I’ve come from then I won’t be able to see the meaning my path has for me. As we all continue on in our dance careers I do believe there are times when it’s important to study, learn, research and grow from the details that we have forgotten or are newly discovered. I’ve learned this year that there are so many powerful and remarkable men and women who through out their careers started out doing Oriental dance before venturing onto other dance forms. Imagine the turn of the century and the impression our dance had on the minds and imaginations of those patrons of the Chicago Worlds Fair. This year is going back in history and learning the who’s who of our dance field and my favorite study of all time, the Egyptians. For the first time I feel I am not only in the wagon, I’m leading the horses in the direction I want to go. Sometimes we have to fall off the wagon in order to get back on and find ourselves. This time it feels good knowing where I’m going but more importantly where I’ve come from.

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My title, let’s talk online belly dance  videos, came about because I get a monthly blog that is very good and full of important info. It by chance had an article on the do’s and don’ts of creating a professional instructional video. Some of the things stated in the article I didn’t agree with so I decided to let you all know my views on what it takes to do videos and the time involved to make them consistent.

I think the first thing that came to my mind was the dress code for doing an instructional video. Look, I do many videos and I don’t think people buy them because of how I am dressed. They buy my videos because of the content. I dress in color and in black with a hip scarf, nothing fussy that can get in the way of the combinations and moves. Sometimes I’ll wear a skirt; it just depends on my mood. But the bottom line is you don’t have to go and wear fancy costumes each and every time you do a video. Your statement will be with your content, not your clothes. Dress for the occasion but not for a dance gig.

The lighting is so important. We started out with natural light coming in from the windows and the one thing everyone forgets or doesn’t know, is that a one hour video will take up to two to three hours to do. That means the light from the window will change and you have to account for that. The change is subtle but noticeable once you start to edit the video. You will see it’s not consistent with the shadows on the wall and on you and your face. The best lights to get are professional lights so that you can have even light distributed on you at all time that is strong. Another misnomer is to videotape during the day. No, you don’t have to videotape during the day and just so you all know I do some of my videos at night due to my schedule. What matters is the consistency of the light. Direct light on your face, from above and coming in from the back and front corners will make the light in the video more even. You can keep the light consistent each video if you use artificial light that professionals use. We use daylight compact fluorescent lights that are the ones that snake around like a light bulb. Believe me they are bright and once you get down how you want the light to look on camera, then you don’t have to worry about the natural light coming in from the window changing on you. You save time each and every time you create a video.

This is a preference and if you don’t agree, that’s okay but I don’t like mirrors in the background because I think they confuse students. I have had students tell me that it’s easier to follow from the back and I agree because what do we all do at workshops; ask to follow from the back. The background can be a green screen or blue screen which means what…you can’t wear green or blue. You will be a floating head if you do which might be fun for Halloween but not for an instructional video. The background should be what makes you happy. I have my tapestry from Egypt behind me and it brings in such a magical ambiance to my classes. We used the color beige on the walls of the studio which was recommended to us by friends who are independent film makers. It warms the room and it made a huge difference on my skin color. It works really well with the direct light we use. I use a rug but would love a wood floor. The rug gives me occasional rug burns especially when I do turns. If you put an oriental rug on a slippery surface just remember it will go where you go and sometimes that’s not a good thing.

Also most videos are done for students and not clients. I send off my performance videos to clients who want to see my dance ability so there is a distinct difference between these two groups. Even if I get hired for a workshop based from someone buying an  instructional video, I am being hired for my content and teaching skills by dancers who are students first. I think that a target market needs to be in place and a plan devised before you ever get in front of a camera. Videos created that state they are done for all levels miss the mark because I have testimony from women from all over the world stating these kinds of videos are confusing. Remember a beginner will read all levels and think she can do the moves. She won’t be able to follow combinations made for an intermediate dancer. Think of your student base and who you want to target; is it beginners, intermediate level or professionals?  Make videos that are easy for students to choose from that make sense. An instructional video isn’t about the flash of a costume, it’s about the content and how easily accessible it is for students to comprehend and learn from. In the end most students are working on their own dance skills so they are buying your video to get ahead. Give them what they need to move along easily and effortlessly.

Regarding music, I use my CD I had created for my students to practice to. The music doesn’t have to be live especially if you have a good strong mic on your camera. We use a shot gun mic and it works perfectly. I also have speakers that I plug into my boom box and the speakers with the top gun mic work perfect. Editing in music after you have done the video is a major pain in the butt and it’s not necessary. I edit my videos so I know there is so much that goes into them plus then Daniel has to go in and do his magic with chapters and such. Make the process as easy as possible because if you do more then one video you will find they can get very expensive and that’s money you put into them before you even sell them. Marketing them afterwards is not just another blog post but should be a power point presentation. So if you want to create an online belly dance instructional video remember who you are making it for. It’s about your future target market aka, students and making the process something they will enjoy and implement into their dance. It’s all about sharing the joy of belly dance to women all over the world.

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Sometimes in our specific entertainment misunderstandings can happen not only out of ignorance but wrong impressions. I call this problem, shades of grey. For the general populace there seems to be this impression that belly dance is a fun and goofy kind of entertainment that anyone can take up and do.

Most professional dancers like myself have witnessed men say to their wives, “Hey honey, you should take up belly dancing so you can dance sexy too.”

This is common and based on a variety of cultures that are ignorant beyond their immediate surroundings and priorities. Basically if someone isn’t interested in learning something beyond the immediate they will keep their ignorant beliefs out of indolence. What this means for us is a lifetime of varied problems that can multiply into irritating phone calls, requests and situations that could be avoided if people did their homework. But for most of us we find ourselves educating the masses out of necessity because our dance some how through the years still retained it’s reputation as a “hoochy coochy” dance. First impressions can lead people into a multitude of directions based on their own frame of mind. This we obviously do not have control over.

Recently on our new bellydancevillage forum, Cleopatra’s Court, bellydancevillage member, Najla brought up a really good question, “What do I say to someone who wants me to teach for free?”

My dander goes up when this type of thing happens. How on earth could anyone call someone up and ask them to take time out of their busy schedules, pay for gas and text besides haul everything needed for class…for free? Maybe our reputation needs to be revamped but I doubt it has to do with the lack of professional dancers educating people; it seems more the lacksadaisy way in which our dance is approached by people. Do people educate themselves today like they did ten to twenty years ago? I think our dance evolution can answer this question by the problems that follow it’s growth and cultural esthetics. From my experience there seems to be a trend of indifference to learning about something that is unfamiliar or outside people’s comfort levels. It took my parents years to get comfortable with my dancing because in their minds it was an exotic dance form inappropriate to watch but then again this assumption was based on zero information just uninformed opinions. Without my guidance their opinions would have stayed the same way even to this day.

Do we unintentionally help stir the pot of indifference by dancing for birthday parties or bachelor and office parties? Do we unintentionally give out the wrong impression by the very fact that we dance for a living or dance for professional aspirations? I stopped doing birthday parties when I turned 43 because I ended up dancing for a young man who turned 18. His friends wanted me to do a lap dance for him. I asked them why they would ask a belly dancer to do that and their response both shocked and exasperated me; they said what’s the difference? I abruptly ended my show and thanked them for an enlightening evening because little did they know they taught me a good lesson. I let the restaurant owner know that very night I was no longer willing to perform for birthday parties, bachelor parties or office parties. It hit me then and there that if I was dancing for a culture that didn’t know the difference between me and a stripper then I didn’t need to dance for them. I was paid to perform at the restaurant as a dancer not a stripper so I ended the party gigs that night.

I decided after that to do more stage performing because for some reason the stage seems to dissolve the very problems that restaurant dancing creates or perpetuates. There seems to be a higher esteemed esthetics to stage performing and I found that nothing can beat the lights, curtain and ambiance of entertaining to an enthusiastic crowd who is educated in our art form. Bottom line, people who pay to come see belly dancers perform on stage understand and appreciate our efforts before we ever get on stage.

But why are there shades of grey in our dance field? Remember this dance attracts insincere people who become a vortex that pulls into it people who don’t understand the true heart and mind of who a dancer is. They attract people to them who help to perpetuate the confusion of dance esthetics by diluting an art form and turning it into a fast food market. All dancers who are true to their art form no matter what it is have an insatiable appetite where they constantly hunger for knowledge. We strive to achieve goals and aspirations through out our careers as dancers and performers living in the state of proficient grace bound by an old school dictum of practice, train, learn and grow. The shades of grey can sometimes become a refuge from a black and white audience and disingenuous peers.

There is no cut and dry answer that explains why after so many years we are still plagued with cultural taboos and misconstrued beliefs regarding an ancient art form that we bring to life every time we perform.  It’s within the nature of our humankind to follow fads that create myths and untruths. Add in self created ignorance and this can be the start of problems. But if these myths and untruths were mirrored back to us, could this change people’s perception including our own?

If Najla said to the woman who wanted her to teach for free, “Do you work for free at your office? Would you like it if your boss said, I want you to travel and do this work for me but I can’t pay you so you’ll have to pay for all your expenses out of your own pocket?” What would be her response…?

Okay, we all know what her response would be but the question is why would she assume Najla would do the very thing she wouldn’t be willing to do? I think as belly dancers we have to acknowledge our dance as a business and not just for fun and relaxation or recreation. Once we put this dance form into a place of business then people will understand that it costs money to learn, pay for costumes, travel and teach. I think we have to give our dance form the integrity that it deserves by word, action and education. Any reason for dancing is valid but men and women have to understand that within our dance form there are many professional dancers, those whom make their living with dance. To some, dance is a calling as intense and prevailing as the elements that cease to slumber constantly flooding the senses with desire. For those working their way up to master their own creativity, understanding this calling and reverence needs to be apart of approaching the fundamentals of our dance. It’s not about achieving a goal in less then a month, it’s about allowing creativity to nurture and blossom within it’s own time.

Shades of grey happens when common sense is thrown out the window but in saying this sometimes this is necessary in order to grow in a dance field that requires us to tear up the rough drafts of life within each performance. Every dancer has to come to a point in his or her dance and figure out their individual goals. But these goals have to respect the customs, dictums and dictates of an ancient art form that has roots as old as the bible. It seems that once we understand the history of what we are dancing, we become freer to interpret our own creativity within it’s learned knowledge. A true dancer knows they can spend most of their lives learning their dance form and yet know they will never learn it all. There is a comfort in knowing this because life really is a full time endeavor where sleep can get in the way.

So is it what we have allowed to languish in our dance that has effected our image? Is it short cuts to learning? Is it perhaps older dancers impeding progress with younger dancers by not passing the torch of accomplishment? Is it generations who have forgotten their history? Did we stop educating ourselves therefore dancing in an insensible ignorance or is it all the above? The answer lies within each of us and only we can answer this for ourselves. Some might answer that none of the above equates to them. Individual paths are walked in a multitude of distinctive ways that displays each dancer’s sense of worth, humanity, enlightenment and philosophy. Choices are made not only according to lessons learned but the integrity of the dancer’s view of his or her dance. This perhaps is what the audience sees thus making opinions based on visual interpretations of life showcased in dance. It can be a carnival of symbols and tutorial appearances. What they see is how they view life not necessarily how they see our dance. But the confusion of dance and life can merge together not only justifying their beliefs but tainting our dance with opinions that have nothing to do with us.

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. ~Alice Roosevelt Longworth

So I am sitting back looking at the shades of grey and in a way I realize that if our dance was black or white we wouldn’t be as interesting. It’s the avant garde attitudes of our dance that captures an audience’s attention along with our talent. Maybe what I’m saying is the shades of grey actually keep us on our toes guessing what our fate in dance will be. I would rather see shades of grey then limited black and white choices. As a Erma Bombeck quote says quite well, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.”

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Following a life time of any ambitious endeavor, calls only to those special souls searching for a different kind of adventure that requires the fortitude of strength and unwavering convictions of an artiste. The journey is the place of origin that is redecorated with scenery of a multitude of sights, smells and experiences. Perhaps the only way to understand how to appreciate the journey is to remember each day is the revival of a different dance age.

The memories of life passing along lonely roads lingers within the shadows of a days journey that tells the curious or faint of heart stories that either shout out warnings or whisper breathless conquests. In today’s hustle and bustle of life, do dancers hear the ancient chronicles of forgotten dancers memoirs? I still listen to the vivacity and enduring stories of dancers who have gone before me paving the road for dancers to follow in their stead. Here are a few dancers of stature and eminence to keep within our hearts, alive as we choreograph our way through dance and life.

The Ruth St. Denis name is synonymous with modern dance. As a matter of fact she is called the “mother” of modern dance which predates Martha Graham. She made her career in America unlike her contemporaries Isadora Duncan and Loie Fuller. Modern dance can be called interpretive dance which allows for moving free form continuously within a variety of expressions and movements unlike choreographed performances. Ruth St. Denis utilized bare feet, a more liberated and expressive torso with uninhibited arms along with subtle movements and expressive gestures.  Her inspirations and studies came from Japan, India, Siamese, Thailand, Egyptian, Javanese and China. Like many of us, her personal life was tragic not in the sense that Ruth St. Denis didn’t live life to it’s fullest but the drama queen in her and her emotional and deviant symptoms lead to unfulfilled aspirations of her feminine ideals.

I love the fact that Isadora Duncan danced at the age of 6 and taught other kids in her neighborhood to dance. Isadora Duncan is also called the “mother” of modern dance decidedly being the creator of a new way of dancing perhaps called free form or movement that is absent of formalities. It’s interesting to say the least, who came first between these two matriarchs of dance but perhaps the difference is Isadora Duncan’s untimely death and her unconventional views for her time regarding relationships and marriage. She joined the Loie Fuller touring company traveling to Budapest, Vienna, Munich and Berlin. She eventually opened a school in Moscow only to find that the Russian Government didn’t fulfill a promise to provide compensation for room, board and a classroom. In order to support herself she went back to the stage and was unsuccessful in America eventually touring Europe once more as a dancer. It’s interesting to see that the path of each dancer is reminiscent of choices that lead to extreme disparities in a dance world that is small and yet so broad in interpretations and consequences.

Loie Fuller captivated Paris with her ability to use special affects including lighting designs, stage adaption’s and costumes. She used fabrics in a way that mesmerized her audiences along with lighting techniques that put her ahead of her time. She was a visionary artist that adapted her own unique style and was an improvisational dancer with the background of burlesque as a skirt dancer working in vaudeville and circus shows. Loie Fuller traveled to Paris after sensing that she wasn’t being taken seriously by American audiences. France became her place of residence with a fan base that appreciated her efforts. The Art Nouveau movement became enamored with Loie Fuller with such notable artists as Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Jules Cheret, Francois-Raoul Larche and Henri Pierre Roche to name a few. She had many patents related to stage lighting and chemical compounds created for using color gels and the use of chemical salts for luminescent lighting. Her use of the stage is obvious and reminiscent in today’s dance productions with the use of fabrics, lighting and stage symmetry. Loie Fuller’s ability to see the advantage of color with motion and lighting made dance a three dimensional spectacle that set her apart from her formidable counterparts.

I have to say that Martha Graham is my favorite not just because she did so much here in America but because she really took dance to a new level of interpretation. But I must admit there have been times that the awkward poses, gestures or positions left me in a confused state. That said I like the expression of non-repetitive dance movements because obviously I love spontaneous choreography. Her main teacher was Ted Shawn though she studied Oriental dance from Ruth St. Denis. Ted Shawn a dancer in his own right was married to Ruth St. Denis. Ted Shawn helped Martha Graham find emotional empowerment and interpretation so much so that she became a success and known as a Denishawn star. In 1923 Martha Graham left the tutorial guidance of Denishawn and became a featured dancer in the Greenwich Village Follies for two years.  Martha Graham’s 1927 performance was a social statement that left audiences unimpressed perhaps because of the conservative environment. After connecting with Louise Horst who was formerly the musical director for Denishawn, she danced with a troupe consisted only of women but eventually brought in a male dancer name Erick Hawkins a ballet dancer to join her company. The idea of bringing in human emotions and conflicts into choreographies resonates with present day choreographers such as myself because life is dance. It seems fitting to bring in social statements and philosophies into a dance that is free form and interpretive to each dancers emotional state. She also used biblical themes and obviously a variety of influences that creates interesting and captivating performances. She created a dance technique for modern dance that had foundation roots from ballet and Oriental yet opposite in her final definition of modern dance. She made her own way and you can’t help but admire her for her individual creativity that lives in each dancer who dares to follow in her incomparable footsteps.

Who doesn’t love the musical Oklahoma with the amazing dancing and singing. Agnes De Mille was the choreographer for this musical but it’s no surprise with her father being playwright William Churchill De Mille and her uncle who was film director Cecil B. De Mille. Add in such notable musicals Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Paint Your Wagon, The Girl in Pink Tights, and it’s obvious to see that talent was passed down in abundance to Agnes De Mille. Her background in ballet afforded not only an understanding of movement but a timing that such notable choreographies must have either for the screen or on stage. She did however write a controversial biography of fellow dancer and choreographer, Martha Graham entitled, Martha in 1991. Friend or foe, it just depends on how you interpret the book.

These amazing women are a constant reminder of not only the revival of a different dance age but of the raw talent that matured into the most notable and talented dancers of our time. To create an individual interpretation of creativity and showcase it as the new form and style of dance means that there is a place for those of us who march to our own tune with no apology for our creative expression.

Dance Divine

“ We are free of time and space. The gestures of our right and left hands

in the meetings and partings of our rhythms are the fulfillment of our completed selves.

 In the endless avowal of that selfhood which is divine,

we use our translucent bodies in a new language to express the glory of our love.”

Ruth St. Denis 

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Is self indulgence a good thing for performers? Another word for self indulgence is decadence which I think is vanity’s appetizer, enticing us, making sure she lures us in. Where is the fine line from fantasy to self indulgence and when is there a warning that we are believing too much in our dreams? Making our dreams into a reality is life’s greatest lesson and teacher, making us the women that we are but I wonder if our choices aren’t skewed in the direction of an alter ego that slowly but surely takes over our every day life.

“I am a woman who enjoys herself very much; sometimes I lose, sometimes I win.” Mata Hari     

Legendary dancers through out history had to create opportunities in dance when there weren’t any. Zoheir Zaki is a good example since she had to overcome her father’s disapproval of her dancing. The night club circuit can be daunting and she had to start from square one just like everybody else. Was it Zoheir Zaki’s shear determination that created a successful career eventually leading to a legacy every dancer reads about and follows? How much do we have to believe in what we do versus over indulging in the complexity of our image? Sometimes proving ourselves to family, friends and dancers can become a life time endeavor that becomes a way of life.

Taheya Carioca married 14 times so Elizabeth Taylor had nothing on her. The unfortunate results of an entertainer’s lifestyle can be her overindulgence in keeping her lovers as muses instead of companions. Fifi Abdou had no less than 6 managers but she is considered to this day to be an excellent business woman who knows what she wants and is willing to fight for it. Her name is connected to scandals, controversial shows and provocative behavior that seems to push the envelope in a country that is contrary to both. Nagua Fouad at the tender age of 15 ran away from home to Cairo without a penny to her name. She by far has the best rags to riches story of any dancer because she rose to the top of her profession to became one of the most renowned belly dancers in Cairo.

“Great dancers are not great because of their technique; they are great because of their passion.” Martha Graham

When passion is mixed in with a woman’s objective to become successful, the world becomes her accomplice and witness. The end result can be a million to one shot with no guarantees. Nobody talks about the Drama Queen that is molded from the unforeseen choices that a dancer makes through out her career. Is the Drama Queen in a woman’s make-up to begin with or do we nurture this overbearing characteristic with false praise and words of encouragement that are superficial. Choices that women make in entertainment seem to create an overindulgent reaction to how the world should respond to them. We all want to be appreciated with every performance, a standing ovation but realistically the audience has their own agendas to contend with and sometimes they bring them along.

I was thinking about entertainers in general who die young like Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson. What was the neurosis of their fame? Was it the “on” button that became stuck or was it an insatiable appetite to be appreciated on and off the stage 24/7? Once the stage becomes apart of any person’s career choice, normalcy just goes out the window. To be the center of attention can create double standards that become a way of life. Being on top can take a toll on the psyche of anyone expected to be in perfect form every time they perform. With the desire to succeed there is a price to pay that at the end of the day might be costlier then anyone expected. My nightclub days were everything I expected and more but what ended up happening was I became a wine-a-holic by the end of my nightclub years. After 5 years, I thought I hid it well but most alcoholics think nobody knows or can see their secret. It was obvious to everyone in my family I had a problem but me.  Sometimes hiding a problem can become more important then acknowledging the problem exists.

At the end of every performance there is a state of mind that engulfs the performer. It’s a human barometer that starts a million thoughts to overtake the mind. Comparing and deciding how a performance rated along with everyone else’s puts the performer in a constant state of  uncertainty and self doubt. Words of praise can become secondary to the applause because to many dancers the applause becomes the only reassuring response they accept as valid. I wonder if performers at high levels of success become deaf to  verbal praises because words can become empty with no sustenance other then false pretenses. When the applause is no longer enough where does a performer go from there?

Entertaining can become a lonely endeavor which is why I think belly dance is so popular. Success or failure can be shared with women and men who understand the pitfalls of this business. But I think down the line we have to look at our unrealistic views of what success is. What is success to one dancer is failure to another. It’s the same old story, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

“Most human beings today waste some 25 to 30 years of their lives before they break through the actual and conventional lies which surround them.”

Isadora Duncan

So the answer isn’t an easy one but it’s one that I think is important for us all to look at. Here’s a quote that states quite well what we do as performers.

“Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads,” Erica Jong

We go as comrades into the creative unknown searching for our perfect dance that has meaning beyond the ordinary or mundane. We want to be the muses for the masses and this is where it can become hazardous. If we go down the rabbit hole we have to make sure we know our way back to where our unbiased, pure aspirations started from. Our roots matter more then we know especially when success knocks at our door. We are apart of a society that needs stimuli 24/7 and it’s easy to forget that it’s not only left up to us to entertain the masses.  Maybe that’s apart of our self indulgence as performers, we take on a hungry monster that is never satisfied.

“Going home means getting comfortable being who you are and who your soul really wants to be. There is no strain with that. The strain and tension come when we’re not being who our soul wants to be and we’re someplace where our soul doesn’t feel at home.”  Melody Beattie, “Finding Your Way Home”

Being home is remembering that it’s okay to be the average woman or man on the street. How can anyone entertain the masses if they don’t remember they are apart of society. Once a performer is comfortable and content with themselves, every performance becomes a reflection back to the audience that is a true gift; they become a living example of contented bliss.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. Albert Einstein

Belly Dance Training at Home ”Wednesday” video is now out on my membership site www.bellydancevillage.com If you want to check out Monday and Tuesday videos,  try my membership out for FREE!

The reason this blog is a bit late is because Murphy’s Law came knocking at my door eventually breaking it down. I decided to write anyways to keep some of my sanity. I had been working on the Wednesday Training video when I discovered my transmission died on my car (Josey). The following day, Tuesday, I then realized as I was preparing to do the video again that the light stands were in the trunk of my car. My car was at the garage and long story short the video was held back another day. More minor things happened but by the time I finished with the video yesterday I was tired and brain dead. Actually towards the end of videotaping I saw a huge hole in the armpit of my outfit…if that is seen in the editing I will have to redo those parts over again…ugh!  I have decided to kick Murphy’s Law in the butt!

As most dancers who do their own choreography know, we can’t just leave alone what we have already choreographed. For example I didn’t like what I came up with in my original text for Wednesday’s class so I redid the combinations. This means that if I have to redo the video, I will have to go over each drill and see what I came up with. I think I helped Murphy’s Law without intending to. So with this week coming to and end I have decided to end it with my favorite drink, a margarita and enjoy the Super bowl with family. Murphy’s Law is not invited.

On a really good note, the Body Image issue of Jareeda came out and a Belly Dance Village member, Najla (Allison Flynn) had her first article published in color titled “Looking Through the Glass.” It was great talking with Najla on the phone, she was ecstatic, dancing on cloud nine. The photo of her is just beautiful and her article is a really good read. My article, “Second Act” was published in color along with the photo of my dear friend and mentor Barbara Sayre Harmon and myself representing Fall and Spring. I highly recommend investing in a subscription to Jareeda so that you can support Mezdulene and her long running magazine. www.jareeda.com

The 8^th editing of my book, The Divine Unrest, My Stories, Advice and Personal Views on Belly Dance is almost finished…yes you read correctly because writing a book just really means you edit and edit and…

I have been putting out quotes from my book on Twitter so if any of you are following me on Twitter, now you know where my quotes are coming from. I thought it would be interesting to see how people reacted to my quotes and so far they have been favorited by friends and dancers. My book isn’t a long book, it’s a little over 200 pages so for dancers it will be a quick. I’ll let you all know once we get it ready to publish. Three years and counting…we’ll have to celebrate some how.

Last but not least, Sakti Rinek and Barbara Sayer Harmon’s; videos will be next on my list of editing after the Wednesday class. I will be doing articles on the life and careers of both Sakti and Barbara so down the line you might see them in The Belly Dance Chronicles.  www.isisandthestardancers.com

Remember that you get access to all my videos if you become a member at www.bellydancevillage.com so what are you waiting for? My membership fees are pocketbook friendly plus you get a family support that’s dedicated to making sure your belly dance journey is as unique and special as you are!

A few weeks ago I ventured up to Taos, New Mexico and interviewed two very important and special women in my life. It was like going home and remembering where my passion started from even as naïve as it was. I went homeward bound to my belly dance roots because my dance journey really started in Taos. It was in Taos that I met Barbara Sayre Harmon and Sakti Rinek; the two women who would be instrumental in making my belly dance dreams come true.

On my trip up to Taos, I had forgotten how spectacular the drive was because everywhere I looked was breathtaking. Coming up from the canyon you are met with a panoramic view of the Gorge and the Taos mountains. They greet you like an old friend that has been around since the beginning of time. The view is always, fresh, new and awe-inspiring, no matter how many times I see it. In many ways, I said to myself, “I am home.”

The lingering memories of learning an ancient art form was almost like a pilgrimage going back to a place that transformed my life. From the day I saw dancers performing so many years ago, I knew belly dance had placed her mark upon me. Taos in many ways represents my temple of learning. Sakti and Barbara were the two women that took me by the hand and guided me into the poetic dance movements of ancient times. Sakti’s studio always had the feel of being an ancient sanctuary with a high priestess energy to it. As I entered her studio, I always knew I was there to study and to understand that the dance was a privilege to learn. Sakti’s curriculum was detailed and full of combinations that were easy to absorb and practice. To this day I find that Sakti is the one teacher through out my career that shared everything she knew about belly dance with me. Sakti always reminded me of a high priestess because she took belly dance and made it ageless. It was as if she took it from an ancient manuscript and brought it to life, always youthful with no apparent age to the movements. With ageless beauty emanating from her varied movements I knew when I saw Sakti dance that I wanted to be apart of this ancient heritage that was a rite of passage, the path of the enlightened and worldly belly dancer.

Every woman who goes into the farthest reaches of her heart knows that magic is alive and by proxy we are its ambassadors. Whenever I walk up to Barbara’s courtyard I am not only taken back in time but I think time stands still out of reverence. It’s a vortex of magical fairies, dragon flies, and an array of flowers of all colors and shapes leading up to her cottages that are alive with whimsy and delight. Walking into Barb’s studio is a piece of pure enchanting revival to the eyes. Everywhere there is a painting that leads you to another one and then another so that the senses are filled and slightly intoxicated with pure creativity. The colors seem to emanate off canvases that come to life telling their story from creative inception to completed masterpiece. For a dancer, the atmosphere can easily captivate the mind and stimulate the creative link between creativity and inspiration. With both studios apart of my up bringing and training in belly dance, it is no wonder that my dance persona is part enchantress and priestess. I think with most women, this is our rite of passage and one that we often forget.

Coming back to Taos was like coming home after a long pilgrimage where I ventured out looking for answers to many questions. I started off each adventure as a naïve novice and as time passed the proficient dancer emerged. As I was driving up to Taos, my accumulated experiences somehow looked me square in the face when I looked into the rear view mirror and I wondered if any of my experiences had amounted to much. I realized my fear was like a dress that shows off all my imperfections and magnifies them with no regard or consideration for my state of mind. I was wearing my fears of inadequacy with the details of a skilled seamstress.

The interviews in many ways were a long time coming. Barb has been living the painters life most of her life along with Cliff Harmon her husband and comrade in arms. Barbara is one of the top female portrait artists in the US besides being a well received writer of children’s books. Sakti has been living the belly dancers dream, traveling around the world for over 36 years. She has been performing and teaching her unique dance style to hundreds of women from all walks of life. They both radiate a kind of accomplishment that not many women can pride themselves in, a life time of creative study that results in endless works of art. The creative process became a way of life for both Barb and Sakti so much so that they have become one with the essence of their own inspired design. It is because of this very reason, I felt it was time to interview them for my membership site and get their stories out to aspiring dancers and artists.

Its funny how we think the world views us like we view ourselves, it’s really not a realistic way to think. As I met with Barbara and Sakti, my apprehension just melted away and I had the best time laughing and talking non-stop the whole time I visited and interviewed both of them. When I was looking behind the video camera and listening to Barb talk, I realized that there just aren’t women like Barb anymore. Her eloquence and refined gestures made me feel like I was in the presence of a legendary actress. In many ways each painting is a script or a story that has individual meaning to whoever looks at it. If I closed my eyes, I could hear the whisperings from each portrait that was surrounding me. That’s why I love going to Barbara’s studio, it’s a magical place that transports me into a world that is always waiting to be discovered or rediscovered. There were a few times I wanted to pinch myself just to make sure I was really there listening to Barb talk about her early years or the tidbits of information about Martha Graham. I decided right then and there I didn’t need Google or Wikipedia because Barbara was a walking encyclopedia. The amazing thing about artists is that they are sponges for every topic they come in contact with. There seems to be no stone unturned by the curious artist and I realized that creativity demands a studious mind. Barb symbolized this with brilliance and genius.

Sakti was as vivacious as ever just as I remembered her. I really think she found the fountain of youth and is keeping mum about it. The studio had a new floor that her boys (obvious young men) Eli and Adam put down for her. It was even more beautiful then I remember and with the new sitting area with large windows over looking her pond, it was just enchanting.  As we began our interview it was so much fun to relive Sakti’s stories and adventures with her. Sakti did what every belly dancer dreams of doing; she not only made a living with belly dancing but she became successful with it as well. But the difference here is that Sakti was “living” the belly dancers life instead of just talking about it. In the end trains, plains and automobiles become as familiar as each hotel room. It’s a gypsy life that isn’t for the faint of heart but for those who pursue it, the end result is enriched memories of cultures, people and places. Sakti’s portfolio isn’t just full of shows, workshops and performances she has the memories of each experience that lives inside her. The difference between a professional hobbyist and old school dancer is how they live their lives and what they carry within them. Experience is the upper hand in this case. You feel the experiences as soon as you walk into Sakti’s studio.

The working dancer lives a novel life that is a daily script made with continual rewrites but that is why it is so enticing for the average woman; it’s a nonsensical way of life. If women were any less complicated it wouldn’t seem logical but because we are who we are, it’s the perfect way to stimulate the senses and reawaken the soul. As Mae West said, “I’m no model lady. A model’s just an imitation of the real thing.” We either live our lives to the fullest or live to regret not birthing our dreams. And to me that’s the difference between women who go out and live their lives versus those who watch from the side lines, they make magic happen. So in my interviews prepare to meet two amazing women who made magic happen and to date are still living their lives to the fullest yet leaving room for new adventures, scripts not written and performances yet to be danced. It’s the blank canvas of life that allows us to paint masterpieces of our desires.

I will be eternally grateful to Barbara and Sakti who have imprinted upon my heart, joy; friendship, laughter, loyalty and the desire to succeed. They showed me this by example and it is only fitting after all this time I come homeward bound to my belly dance roots to thank the two women in my life who made all the difference and helped me become the woman that I am today.

If you are curious about my membership site, check it out and become a member. I have many videos to view and as you can see many more to come. www.bellydancevillage.com

Interpretive Belly Dance – The Right to be “You”

Every year represents something that each of us holds dearly to our hearts. There are even those experiences that we let go of like dust in the wind. This year I decided to get back to my roots and talk about why I started belly dancing and what intrigued me about it in the first place. I know I stated in my bio that I saw belly dancing at age 6 and fell in love with it, that’s a given. But as I got older there was something else about it that caught my attention. I saw a chance to achieve my individual freedom to move and dance my way and be accepted for it. In my early years the women who stood out in my mind, understood their own unique style. They gave a different take on choreography and dance interpretation. These women have stayed with me all these years because they taught me it was okay to be me.

In the years that it has taken me to understand what my style is all about, I found that there was a price I paid for being “me.” As with any dance form it’s obvious there will be a multitude of opinions that are usually targeted at other people’s dance interpretation and preferences. Dancers tend to follow a doctrine that leaves little room for creative latitude especially if the style is not to their liking. In our world even though it gives the impression that creativity is welcome, there are obvious artistic guide lines everyone is expected to follow.

“As a solo performer sometimes we have to bloom and become one with our community besides being that individual flower” Leyla Najma

I’m not talking about the basic fundamentals of belly dance and good curriculum; I’m talking about a perceived ideology that women carry with them into this dance. Water seeks it’s own level so most dancer’s find their home or community that fits their lifestyle. When we mix ideologies and preferences together the guide lines become fuzzy. Everyone changes what they feel doesn’t fit their creative interpretation of what belly dance is for them. For instance, Tribal Belly Dance is beautiful but it’s not my thing. When I took Tribal in workshops I found it to be confining and confusing. I think the Tribal look with multiple layering and rich textures is eye candy for the soul but even with the vibrant colors it’s not how I choose to present my dance persona. It’s another world to me but one that is apart of belly dance. So I look at Tribal as my first cousin who displays the beauty of belly dance with refined eloquence. Tribal is the ancient sister to modern belly dance, obviously a family of unconventional traditions.

“Combining all of life experiences, lessons learned and not learned creates the most beautiful design of all; the individual dancer.” Leyla Najma

On my quest for finding the “me” in dance I realized that as I performed in shows, restaurants and nightclubs, I was molding and sculpting my dance persona as I went along. The end result was “me,” a dancer that had her own articulacy and style. This doesn’t mean that what I became was always accepted, what it does mean is that I had come full circle and brought to life my artistry in dance. When a dancer stops asking for permission to be creative then you know she has become her own masterpiece.

“Sometimes dancers are born molded and nurtured in the arts becoming the living essence of what they represent” Leyla Najma

The last couple of years have been very interesting for me because I have had problems with some dancers critiquing my on-line videos without even bothering to take a class. They have opinions based on those age old ideologies that they brought into this dance from the beginning. Empty words can echo into any community leaving impressions that aren’t based on personal experience rather personal insecurities. Allowing for creative expression seems to be a thing of the past. I think this is because there are so many dancers vying for the coveted limelight. Acknowledging another dancers success should be a right of passage especially since there are so many fantastic dancers performing now. Maybe it’s fear or self doubt that keeps dancers from giving each other a high five. What ever it is, it’s preventing success from becoming an everyday occurrence because ultimately success knocks at everybody’s door.

“If a woman asks you a question, it’s better to tell her the truth because chances are she’s asking you because she already knows the answer.” Unknown

Interpretive belly dance isn’t only about methodology and curriculums; it’s about incorporating life into your dance persona. The tricky part is making sure each movement and gesture is honestly who you really are. Dancing somebody else’s choreography is okay to learn from but eventually the movement has to make sense to your body by dancing it your way. Becoming “you” in belly dance means that music is interpreted without second guessing how you choreograph to what you hear. It’s beautiful to see dancers performing making movement second nature to the rhythm in the music.

“Walking the path as a dancer takes the same amount of steps as everyone else; it’s important not to compare your footprint with others.” Leyla Najma

Interpretive belly dance in today’s day and age is an expression of a modern day dancer who continually has questions but knows where to put the answers. Belly dance is as complicated or laid back as the individual dancer. How we stand up for our dance and self expression is as varied a statement to the dance world as the individual dancer. So this year I wish all of you a dance of great exploration and rewards. May the treasures you find lead you back to yourself, the greatest treasure of all!

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Dancing in the age of now is a question that has been on my mind for quite awhile. The best statement I can remember hearing is from the legendary Bert Balladine, “You have nothing to dance about until you are over the age of 30.” I didn’t understand this statement years ago but I sure do now. It hits home and has made itself comfy as the years have come and gone. Each year has given me a gift of introspection and wisdom that has occasionally felt like a reprimand but I’m old enough now to place it where it needs to go.  Life’s lessons aren’t about taking to heart the little inconsequential things; it’s about seeing the big and understanding where we are in the scope of things.

I think as dancers, we should step back from ourselves and see who we are in the moment. Is the image in front of us, what we imagined years ago? Every experience in dance is an unexpected roller coaster ride which makes it so exhilarating. Today I realize that I love to go forward and twirl around but going backwards makes my stomach queasy. Women can be the cat’s meow or the cat’s claw depending on individual perspectives that might be skewed to begin with. Learning how to release pent up issues and emotions has been a learning experience for me. I’ve dealt with a few curve balls in the last three years so I learned to play the game in a way that makes catching curve balls more fun then being hit by them.

Dancing in the age of now isn’t something that I have done very well. Dealing with myself on a daily basis is really like dealing with a full time drama queen. I understand me but after awhile I get tired of dealing with what I am versus what I was. So I wanted to talk about being in a place of comfort that has no regrets or misgivings regarding life…yeah right. If my age was a person she would be a confident and experienced woman. So I wonder why I want to be younger with less of both? Just because we age doesn’t mean we get any smarter. My youth has this lingering effect of giving the illusion that good times are only associated with her. What’s crazy is I believe her sometimes.

Dancing in the age of now isn’t always easy to explain. I often think about when dancers ask me how do I know how to place moves together to create a choreography. It’s always been a tough question for me to answer because through trial and error, I’ve learned to hear what the music is telling me. What I hear, I express through movements, gestures and traveling steps. How could I tell my daughter how to walk when she was one years old? She had to learn to pace herself and place her weight in a way that allowed for her to take those first steps. Once she learned to place each foot in front of the other, she was running! The lesson is about feeling what’s inside instead of waiting to be shown how to do something. Following what we know to do isn’t always easy in a world that tells us what we should be doing.

Let’s be honest here, being in a place of comfort for women really isn’t possible. I can hang in my pajamas and watch a movie and be comfortable but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about. Can I walk out of the house without make-up…no. Would I let my grey hair come out naturally…hell no! So comfort isn’t something that is naturally apart of a woman’s mind set. High heels, diets, wrinkle creams and everything else that goes into a woman’s daily regimen of creating herself has nothing to do about comfort. But in a very unconventional way it’s a comfort in itself. It’s really not fair because we get to wear vibrant, sexy and bold clothes along with make-up and bling. We can do so much with our hair and make a statement with it up or down. I think that’s why men don’t mind what we go through to be beautiful; they get to see the end results of our laborious efforts. So who is the smarter of the sexes…women of course!

Dancing in the age of now is kind of like a diary showing us our idiosyncrasies.  We never stop being who we are; we just become better impersonators of ourselves. I wonder if I really knew what I was like, would I want to be my friend? I think this would be a good question for women to ask themselves.

So my opine is pretty simple. It’s not just about accepting myself; it’s about understanding who I am. At this point I feel like I’m back home in my old room sifting through memories with them all leading up to the present me. As a Simone DeBeauvoir quote states quite well, “One is not born a woman, one becomes one.”

I wanted to write a bit about the belly dance journey and to let you all know that every once in awhile the rose colored glasses come off and reality starts to set in even for us belly dancers. Sometimes women think that self fulfillment will happen magically with this dance and to be honest with you it takes work. But it’s the kind of work that feels more like an entrepreneurial quest. We make the journey what it is, a success or a spiraling drama. At times they kind of go hand in hand but how much really depends on you.

Just remember that you are the same person years later in the dance and the only changes are the levels of success you have with your dance and with yourself. It seems like it’s easy to forget our purpose in this particular dance field especially if you have professional aspirations and you have been at it awhile. Even women who take belly dance classes for self fulfillment reasons only can get caught up in expectations in what type of fulfillment will happen. We really are in charge of our own outcome but more times then not we forget we are our own leader and we start following someone else’s path. This is a major problem for many women because with any type of art we really have to create our own masterpiece. Even dancers who are apart of a troupe bring in their own artistry. With this type of  visual art in front of audiences it is easy to see why belly dance  has an occult like following.

As with any dancer, I started out with dreams and aspirations and they have never left me but the brutal reality of life as an entertainer and performer has tarnished my naive sensibilities.   But in saying this I also  have to admit  that I am a stronger and more focused person because  of what I have experienced. The constant drama of the stage will make any woman a seasoned performer but the important thing to remember is not to lose yourself in the lessons.

The key to the belly dance journey is to stay true to your path and follow your own gut instincts. Did you all know that gut means “God” in Scandinavian? So we just have to remember that God talks to us constantly through our gut feelings. And the gut feelings are apart of us being our own leader but of course with some help. Oh and by the way, this reminds me, sometimes you can feel alone in dance but creativity is really like a life time partner………she’ll never leave you alone and the best part of all is you will always have her by your side.

If we focus on our own gut feelings and creativity the lessons of the stage seem less dubias and  more satisfying. At the end of the day it really is about fulfilling the promises that we make to ourselves even if they were made long ago. The journey is about “you” and how you live life. The journey isn’t about  about who did what or what somebody said because ultimately it’s about what you think of yourself. Friends or no friends you will always be the one walking your path.

Last thought; it occured to me that part of the journey is being the kind of friend to ourselves that we search for in our community. It’s all in the company we keep  so with my gut, creativity and inner knowing of who I am I guess I really am not alone. It’s a good feeling!

Skeletons, ghosts and names on tombstones greeted us at the Haunted Hips workshop in Abilene. We arrived in Abilene after driving the long way around to get there and thankfully settled into comfy beds at the hotel. Even our 3 legged blue heeler, Mr. Zippy was out like a light, snoring away and dreaming of that unreachable rabbit. Saturday morning was upon us in what seemed to me to be only ten minutes of sleep but I know I am exaggerating a bit.

The Haunted Hips workshop was finally happening and I was ready and anxious not only to get started but to meet all the wonderful women who travelled to the workshop from out of town. The Magic Lamp Studio director Jami Chance is about the nicest and most gracious hostess I have had the pleasure to work with. Jami and I met through my online videos a few years ago and we have been dance friends ever since.

Saturday was a day full of opposition hip combinations that is based on the Hip Phylosophy curriculum. It was a day of laughing and dancing which is always the best way to learn dance. Everyone who came to the workshop came through the 4 hours of instruction with flying colors. There were different levels of dancers so it was an interesting mix of beginner dancers to professional. Sunday was a mini choreography on Continual Soft movement and group participation. It was my favorite class of the weekend because the girls took combinations apart and put them back together in various ways and then performed the combinations for each other. I think in the Sunday class the girls were able to see that putting combinations together can be fun and both groups came up with wonderful variations on the combinations. They could actually see that what they came up with not only worked but looked beautiful all at the same time!

The Saturday evening show was full of great energy and I must say that Jami did a wonderful job training her girls. Each performance was full of high energy and the evening flowed effortlessly and easily. It was just one of those shows that was a joy to be in. At the end of the evening Jami brought me roses and we all danced to live music by a wonderful drummer named John. It was the perfect ending to a perfect evening!!

When the end of the workshop came it was sad to leave. Jami’s family is just as gracious as she is and we feel so fortunate to have met Jami’s husband Steve, daughters Brittany and Bekah. Thank you so much for making our stay wonderful and memorable. And thank you Jami for letting me off the hook for forgetting the lights!!

This past weekend I was able to do a workshop with my students and at the same time showcase  the curriculum that I have been  working on for a better part of a year.  What is so exciting about  this new curriculum is that it is the end result of students understanding choreography in a way that makes sense to them.

What I mean by this is students are learning  to understand their own choreography. The curriculum shows them how to connect the dots.

The one thing that I have noticed especially with the emails Daniel and I have received through out this last year is that many dancers don’t understand how to interpret movement to music or they don’t even know why they move a certain way to the music, they just follow their teacher. Some dancers have said that they learn the same moves over and over again but  the reason behind the move is not talked about.

I think as teachers we have to take a good look at our own curriculum and than stand back so we can take a good look at what we are teaching.

Connecting the dots never made more sense to me than it does now. We can’t just give students a glimpse of something and than hope they get it, we have to show them what happens when the dots are connected. What is so exciting right now is that the end result of my curriculum is showing itself in each and every dancer that I have.  I have beginner students who I started with this curriculum and they are advancing in leaps and bounds. I have students that have come back to me that are amazed at the changes and they can see the difference in what they had already learned to what they are learning now.

The online classes have really helped evolve this curriculum and my teaching ability. I have many students and dancers to thank for helping me understand that when a student is learning how to dance she has to be taught in a way so that she can enjoy and understand the process.

The formula is simple; opposition hips and understanding how they work together or apart. Layering with opposition hips and understanding when to work in your right and left sides. Transition steps and transition moves used to change with the phrasing in the music.

If students are given a repertoire of moves and combinations and they are taught how to use them than eventually the body will relax and take over. Once the body relaxes and takes over than accents,exaggerated moves or pauses along with level changes, lines and angles can be used in the dancers own unique way. The end result will be a dancer that is confident and well trained.

So for all you teachers out there think about how you train your students because once a student understands how to connect the dots,  the dancer in her will emerge before your very eyes and it is a beautiful sight indeed!

The other day I was talking to my students Julie and Amy and I told them that this one combination came to me in the shower of all places. But another student Judy inspired the combination but why the heck did it evolve in the shower? Another group of dynamic turns came to me in a dream but I woke up before I figured out how I did them. I remember saying to myself  in the dream that I had to remember the turns and I woke up actually talking to myself.

That was a little creepy having a conversation with myself and than answering myself!  The other morning lying in bed I worked out a 6 week course curriculum and figured out how to make each class lead into the next.  Is creativity possessing me through choreography?  If so it is the kind of possession that never leaves you alone and can turn you into an eccentric old dancer who toots her own horn even if nobody is listening.

A wonderful quote says:

“Everything in the universe has rhythm. Everything dances.”-Maya Angelou
So maybe what is happening is that when we open the mind to inspiration it’s like opening the flood gates to creativity that rushes in with the power of the ages. I suppose that it would be easier if creativity came at the same time everyday but than wouldn’t that be a stagnant way of creating?  So creativity comes visiting  in my dreams, in the shower, in the car, when I’m dancing with students or without . And since creativity is directly from the Universe than this explains why there is a constant stream of ideas and moves coming my way.

How many of you feel this kind of divine unrest? It’s almost as if everything you look at has the beginnings of a movement. The tree branches blowing in the wind can be  either slow and sinuous  or fast and powerful movements. It’s all in the eyes of the dancer and how the tree is talking to her.  Students do this to me all the time. The best combinations I have ever come up with have been the inspiration of dance students who inspire me with their talent!

“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

So a choreography state of mind is what keeps the dancer alive and in her element.  I didn’t understand this years ago because I didn’t see movement anywhere I went. I think when a dancer finally embraces her own individuality she can finally see what was hidden from her. It’s almost like being in a magical land that at first appears barren and devoid of life than all of a sudden things appear before you that you never saw before. Maybe the possession creativity has on us just keeps us seeing the magic in life and than we see her rhythm and than we dance to her melody.

“We dance for laughter, we dance for tears, we dance for madness, we dance for fears, we dance for hopes, we dance for screams, we are the dancers, we create the dreams.” -Anonymous

So for now my students crack up laughing at my madness and I keep on tooting my own horn but the best part of all is my students hear me and they don’t mind listening!

For the last 8 years there has been a huge change not just in my dance career but also in my view of the world. There is one man responsible for this and he is my husband Daniel. Now you can only imagine what it’s like to be married to a belly dancer who has occasional outbursts or  rant and raves over the littlest things.  But Daniel watches me sometimes in amusement and other times with a blank look on his face that says, “Not again!”

One thing for sure Daniel is a trouper with a seasoned belly dance husband attitude. I often wonder what our husbands really think of our dancing which includes the drama that goes into each production, performance or dance class. They sit in the audience watching us perform knowing what we have put into our dance and than the first thing out of our mouth after the show is over is, “How did I do?” Now this really is not a fair question and it is pretty much a set up. They know this if they are seasoned and if they are not, they learn very quickly what not to say. Of course we want honesty but than we also want praise mixed in for good measure.  I remember one performance I asked Daniel how did I do and he said, “How do you feel you did?”  We looked at each other, me of course frowning and Daniel with a blurry eyed look because it was midnight.  He told me I danced beautifully as always and had a distraught look on his face pleading with me for us to go because it was so late and his back was hurting. So off we went and I realized as we were walking to our hotel room that there were no complaints from him the whole night. Sometimes we can forget that even for our husbands the dancing can become a blur. And we can also forget how good we have it with them.

Recently  Daniel came back stage after watching  a show I produced with my dear friend Rozana al Jinan and he gave me a big hug and told me what a great job we had done. He almost seemed amazed that we pulled off the show because it was not an easy show to produce.  For the belly dance husband when his wife does a good job it some how  validates  his hard work making sure she stays sane. Sanity leaves at an alarming rate towards the end of most productions. Daniel seems to understand my insane chatter during shows and performances so because of this I am able to focus on whatever I’m doing. Not many husbands  can do this so it takes a special man to be a belly dance husband.

Drama in belly dance is a given and if we don’t  have our sanctuaries at home than the stress of our dance could really take a toll on us. So I am always grateful that Daniel understands this as well. Sometimes I’ve come home on cloud nine and other times I’ve crawled in with a battle weary look on my face. Either way Daniel greets me with a hug and understands. This is the whole point about being a belly dance husband, they understand what we go through.

Since Daniel has put so much of his time into my belly dancing we both agree that it’s about time everyone who comes to the website  read about his viewpoints of belly dancing. So I’m excited that Daniel has agreed to put more of his time into writing to all of you. And if any of you have husbands who need advice Daniel is here to help. As women it is so important to understand that our husbands go  through belly dance stress too. Since Daniel is a seasoned belly dance husband he’s here to help. So look for more articles, advice and tips from my husband and I will be here as well to help all of you with your dancing. So you all have a belly dance team to help you out and I am blessed that my husband is the other half of me.

Years ago when I first saw belly dancing the dancers who stood out the most were the ones who understood where “their” dance moves came from. Nothing was forced and they glided, gracefully across the stage and than all of a sudden out of nowhere a sharp combination or soft accent would appear and take your breath away.
As a novice I could see that this would be necessary to understand and incorporate into my dance. Now, I didn’t understand at that time how to go about doing it so I spent many years researching this so I could pass it along to my students.

What is a signature move you may ask? It is your personality and style that brings life into a group of combinations. It is you in a move and your dancing is done with your life experiences expressed through each gesture of the hand, arm, walk or turn. You are up on that stage 100%, therefore there is no carbon copy of another dancer only you. So as a dancer performs she has a select few moves that are combined and put together her way that reflect her view of the world. This view is only hers and as a consequence a signature move is born.

This year started out with a bang in signature moves. Currently I am working with a fantastic singer Kymberlyann Lopez who has just finished her new cd that will be released this year. We are working on belly dance moves that she will be incorporating into her dance along with her hiphop, breakdancing and jazz moves. She is the new generation of singers coming out knowing that dance combined with singing can be a powerful tool to get your message across to your fan base and what better way than to teach them your own style of dance. I’m not talking about choreographed moves done to music, I’m talking about instinctive moves that accent words and get the message across in ways that the fans understand.

It is a silent code of movements that belong to the fans and bond them to the singer. Kymberlyann will be touring this year and her belly dance signature moves will make a difference and pave the way for future singers who dance to create their own distinctive moves.
Judy Maloof is another professional dancer who is taking private belly dance classes with me and we are incorporating sensual and classical moves into her ball room and salsa dancing. Judy is a risk taker and she understands that bringing in moves that speak volumes is the key to making a broader
statement to her admirers. She is one dancer that can hold her own with the best of them.

Think of ways to be yourself when you dance while you are learning to dance. I know this sounds a little crazy but if you don’t start putting in your personality and style in now than when it really counts you won’t be able to hold your own with the best of them. The best are so because they and their dance are one.

I know what some of you may be thinking; ok so how do I figure out what is my signature move?

When I work with dancers the first thing that I do is I watch how they talk and how they use their hands. Secondly I believe the body always tells its own story and if I watch enough movement from a dancer than I can catch a glimpse here and there of the bodies natural way of moving. Than I look at how a dancer holds her rhythm and how she counts to the music.

Even if a dancer doesn’t count evenly with numbers she will have a unique way of moving. So I look at this in the beginning and I can eventually see how a dancer prefers to move to music. To be a natural dancer means that you understand your preference in movements and how to time them to the music. Every dancer times her movements slightly different and this is a key element in understanding how to help a dancer create her signature moves.

Put together life and dance and eventually down the line you will understand your own unique signature moves. And for those who don’t understand or who are still searching, I’m here and ready to help.