Cures, Disorders and Syndromes!!
Just yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine regarding the solo student dancer syndrome of “who are you, I don’t know you”. This is a very old disorder that I have been dealing with for many years. Only thing is I didn’t realize how contagious it was until just recently. I’m no Einstein but it finally sunk in that there is something going on here. I had always looked at students as women of great possibilities and potential. And for a while I had a naive idea that my students would carry on my grand illusions of what I thought belly dance was. OK……so I’m a few quarts low in that regard but I am finally cured!
My point is that I have had students come to class who come right in with problems and issues never stopping to think to leave anything at the door. Do I do this……….yes of course but than it’s my class and I can do whatever I want……not really. I learned through the years that what students want is a teacher and that is all! How simple and yet how complicated all at the same time. If I become more of a friend than my teacher status starts to suffer. If I am just the teacher and that is all than I am not very compassionate. So where does this fine line exist of friend and teacher?
Just so you know it’s in another dimension parallel to ours. No…really. How do students get the “who are you, I don’t know you” syndrome? This has perplexed me for years but I have come up with a hypothesis.
It has to do with what their real motives are when they decide to become a belly dancer. These motives are nurtured by society, parents, relationships, and learned behavior from all three. If any of the three are negative (which hello is very likely) than the beginning stages of this syndrome start to form. This disorder can take on a variety of symptoms. One of the most familiar of these symptoms is what I call the “outside of their world” non communication variety. Maybe it’s because friends are a dime a dozen or that their upbringing taught them to drop you like a hot potato. We often as a society of women will have more patience and compassion for a loved one that beats us or a relationship that is unhealthy than we will for a dance teacher. God forbid that the teacher was not only there for her student but was a sounding board for everyday problems. Realistically as a teacher you have to be a sounding board no matter how professional you want to keep your relationship with your students. But this backfires more frequently than you realize.
The other symptom is the “invisible” kind. Now I know I do this too. As a matter of fact I have had a few students that if I would of known back than what I know now, they never would have been allowed to take class from me. But for this to take place a lot of disrespect and drama has to happen. Than yes these people are not only invisible but non existent in my world. Somehow I seem to have had this same effect on a particular group of students. It’s OK but the difference here is that I gave knowledge along with whatever drama they felt they went through. I only got drama………and a few pains in the you know where. But this is from my side of the fence and from where I see life. But I want you all to know that as a teacher I always look at my students as dancers. They all deserved this respect because anyone that takes from me is giving me a gift which is their time and efforts. But what do the students think of this? Is the efforts of my class worth it? Do they speak well of me or not at all? When they go out and perform do they appreciate our class time together? Oh, yes I wonder all these things because I remember what it was like my very first belly dance class. I haven’t forgotten that feeling of pure amazement and I haven’t forgotten my first teacher. And yes if she was still alive today I would let her know I haven’t forgotten her.
Appreciate who you can and let the others alone. If you can’t speak well of your teacher than take a look at why. Is it so much what she didn’t do or was it what she should of done but didn’t do it to your liking? How hard we are on our teachers is only setting us up to be regarded in the same way down the line. Because always remember that to be disappointed in people is easy, not setting people up to disappoint us is the hard part. The dancers who are under the symptom of “Who are you, I don’t know you” have choices. Maybe if you are under this symptom you might stop and think about what you are setting yourself up for. There will always be people we don’t get along with but why create a dance world where this syndrome exists? It’s easier to get along than not but than water seeks it’s own level so maybe the cure is seeing yourself equal with everybody else. It’s a lot easier to learn from someone who not only sees you as a talented dancer but treats you like one. This means we have to take responsibility for our own drama and not throw issues onto other peoples shoulders to carry.
My shoulders are only full of my problems and even if they feel like they are carrying a load, it’s my load. This is my cure and my way of taking care of my responsibilities. I can than say I see you and you are beautiful………..even the pains in the you know where!!
Beg, Borrow or Steal……Moves
Years ago when I was in Egypt I was watching TV and was overjoyed to see belly dancing on many of the channels. As I settled down and started watching the dancing something came to my mind. The dancer who I was watching was Nagua Fuad in all her glory. She did an amazing dance but I could have sworn I had seen it somewhere or something similar. I couldn’t put my finger on it so I kept on watching her dance and than bingo; I remembered where I had seen it. The performance Nagua Fuad had performed was from around the 60’s or early 70’s and a performance that looked similar to hers was done by a dancer in the later part of the 80’s. Since I was in my infancy of learning belly dancing at that point I didn’t know if it was ok to imitate a well known dancer. The moves were different but the essence of the dance was definitely from Nagua Fuad. It made me wonder about choreography and how our dance is actually passed down from dancer to dancer. Taking it a few steps further, I wondered about themes in dance, terminology, and styles. With so many dancers in our community, how can we actually know if moves are original or taken from other dancers? Does it matter?
So I started to look at choreography taught in classes and workshops. With so many workshops happening and so many wonderful dancers teaching their choreography should they copyright their moves? Is this even possible, necessary or practical? Actually this would be futile because there is no way to really say a move is yours unless you are a famous dancer and your style is well known. What about the wonderful dancers that are not as well known who teach their choreography locally at workshops? What happens when their choreography is taken and danced by others? If a dancer takes a specific group of moves and performs them in a show out of state and than says they are hers there is no way for anyone to really know if they are or aren’t. So my question is, should we as dancers share the wealth of information and tell others our secrets?
We are all inspired by various dancers and it is logical to assume that most dancers go to workshops or take classes locally for the choreography. But what happens when another dancer takes information taught in a workshop or class and starts to teach and dance it as her own with no credit given to the original teacher? Is this stealing? So this led me to another question regarding “borrowing” another dancer’s style of eloquence. Again if a dancer is not well known, her style of speaking along with her dance technique can be stolen. How would any dancer prove this? With our dance community the way it is, this would be impossible. So the responsibility lies within each dancer and her duty to give credit where credit is due. There are two types of dancers; those who want all the glory for themselves or those who are willing to share the glory. You just have to figure out which one you are.
So let’s now talk about a topic that I find very interesting, the workshop “double up.” How many event coordinators have had other dancers schedule in workshops on the same weekend? We have all heard stories about this happening. I can’t quite figure out how this happens. Do you know how many days there are in a year? Think about it, it’s pretty dumb of a dancer that knows there’s a workshop happening on a particular weekend to go ahead and schedule in a workshop on that same weekend. Scheduled dates should be respected and honored because to me it’s like stealing money from your own community.
The Bottom line is that for a certain amount of dancers this is a business. Yes, competitive but since when are we just like Corporate America?
I have friends who have taught for years and have their own formula that they created throughout their dance years of trial and error. To understand this right of passage takes years of training but unfortunately for younger dancers this is a hard lesson for them to understand. This right of passage takes years of training because the best way to teach is through experience. You can give your students not only the choreography but the memory of performing it. This skill cannot be borrowed because the authenticity would only be a weak imitation of the original.
So how can anyone teach another person’s style and not give them credit? I can remember when I started out dancing it never occurred to me that I would get to where my teacher was in a short amount of time, I always knew my place. There are no short cuts in this dance. You can’t take what you don’t understand or appreciate. And to me taking what you have not worked hard for is just plain stealing. Could you imagine if you were at work and someone went to your desk and said, “Sorry, I’m taking over your job”. It’s the same thing.
What about great ideas and themes for shows? Have you ever had an idea for a show and mentioned it to another dancer and before you knew she put on a show with your idea? I had this done to me years ago and realized that I just plain and simple had a big mouth. But what about the dancer that ran with my idea? What was her responsibility to me? She should have asked me first, period! To me she stole my intellectual property. When it comes to productions and shows it is so important to respect the themes and ideas that dancers come up with. If you know what a theme of a show is ahead of time respect the time line before you do something similar. Last year I was blessed to put together a theatrical production with a close friend of mine Rozana Al Jinan called “Cleopatra’s Court”. It was an achievement that we are both still proud of today. As we were putting together ideas for the theatrical production which included the theme and name, this feeling of needing to protect our ideas came to the forefront. The bottom line for both of us was to make it an original production. We wanted to make sure that our production was able to get off its feet before we spread the word. But I have to tell you I was really worried that someone would steal our idea. This means either two things, that I’m paranoid or that my dance community is the kind of community that would run with the idea. So I decided to settle on being paranoid.
Today’s dancers are in the age of instructional and performance DVDs and most dancers find it easier to purchase them and view them in the comfort of their own living room. We can also view old videos of famous dancers and combine many different styles. So can a dancer today really say “This is my move”? I have an instructional DVD out and I welcome dancers taking the combinations that I teach and using them. I am the end product of many teachers so I feel I am sharing with dancers what my teachers taught me. In a way we are all combinations of many teachers and dancers who influenced our careers. So when we learn a move and perform it we keep it alive. I guess what I’m getting at is that when a seasoned dancer has nothing to prove in her dance but only to dance for the pure joy of it, she than becomes the essence of the dance. This can’t be copied or stolen because the essence of each dancer’s spirit is unique unto herself. If each dancer keeps her dance a definition of who she is than the bottom line is she won’t feel the need to take what is not hers. So did it matter that I saw a performance that was imitated, you be the judge. I saw two slightly different versions of a similar choreography that both dancers performed well. And in the end they were both memorable. I’d like to share a poem from Ruth St. Denis with you because in the end we never stop searching for the perfect dance, the perfect move or the perfect meaning to our creativity.
The gods have meant that I should dance
And in some mystic hour I shall move to
Unheard rhythms of the cosmic orchestra
Of heaven and you will know the language
Of my wordless poems and will come to me
For that is why I dance.
Time Is The Only Critic Without Ambition
by Leyla Najma · 4 Comments
Time Is The Only Critic Without Ambition
This particular subject has attached itself to every belly dancers hip since the beginning of time. So let’s start looking into this topic with one of my first questions that has plagued me for years; are we entertainers or are we dancers? Interesting question because so many women through out the years have commented to me that to be a dancer is better than to be an entertainer. And some dancers have given the opinion that we are entertainers up on stage that dance. So here we have two different opinions and that is what makes our world go round. Even more so we will have a specific group or person say one way “their way” is better. This is understandable because no one can walk a particular dancers’ path for them or in their footsteps. With experience comes opinions and with opinions come life statements of what works and what doesn’t work. Is this the building block of criticism? What happens when we create a community that is critical of specific dance groups, dance styles, dance ability and dance venues? How healthy is the air we breathe in our environment when we contaminate it with criticisms and censorship? Is this necessary or does it do the opposite which is to clear the wheat from the chafe?
As time progresses along two things happen for dancers, either they keep up with the changes or they look around scratching their heads saying, “Where am I”? If you are lucky enough to be in the group that has kept up, I’m sure there are changes that have occurred that you may not care for. To tell you the truth I’m a little bit of both groups because I kept up and than some how got left behind. But sometimes when you get left behind you can hear the echoes and whisperings of those walking ahead of you and it’s really interesting what you can hear.
I’ll never forget a dance acquaintance of mine that said most of the shows that she had seen recently were just horrible. Since I was in most of these shows, she got me scratching my head wondering if this was a round about way of insulting me or if she just wasn’t thinking. Ah huh, well lets just say I let it slide but what was interesting was that the producer of these shows is a friend of hers but I’m pretty sure she didn’t tell her what she thought. Actually I’m wondering what it was about me that made her confide in me. Sometimes to be oblivious is a good thing.
Experience has taught me that looks especially packaged in a beautiful body can create a disadvantage when it comes to equal consideration. The world reacts differently to beautiful people. I experienced the other side of this coin when I was rehearsing with a friend for a show we were doing together. She is very striking and the band catered to her and kind of forgot about me. After awhile of dealing with this predicament I had to laugh because the musicians were crowding around my friend chatting with her. Before I knew it they were all getting ready to leave and we didn’t rehearse yet. My dance friend didn’t feel like rehearsing so everybody decided to go home. From back in the abyss I told them in a loud voice that I wanted to rehearse and we weren’t leaving. All of a sudden I became visible again and everyone realized that I too was in the room.
As women do we look harsher on beautiful women because we feel they have an advantage over us? Or do we help them become successful because we want to see the symbol of our dance in a beautiful woman? Is our dance form really women friendly? When I say women friendly I mean all types of women. Do we as women censor our belly dance image?
Many women want to be well known but can they handle it if a dance friend gets there first? Women gage how they are doing by other dancers that are at their level of success. This is where I have seen criticism lurk. You know what I mean, the eyes roll, side glances occur at an alarming rate and that look of total antipathy comes across the face. At this point even if a dancer did well the blur of aversion would keep another from seeing a performance well done. Who at this point is at a disadvantage? This especially occurs when the dance style is different from what a dancer prefers. Is there rivalry amongst dance styles? Let’s be honest here, yes of course there is. With the different styles follows change especially in the belly dance costume. Our belly dance costume is almost like a rite of passage for women especially when they wear their costume for the first time. Does the costume state who we can hang with? When dancers perform together the saving grace for all of us is that the audience can see how diverse we are. So maybe the shows that I performed in showcased other dance styles than what my dance acquaintance preferred. How can we educate our audience on the diverse elements of our dance if we can’t accept the changes that are taking place in our dance world ourselves?
There have been occasions that I felt like a fish out of water. I was performing in a show this past year with all the dancers on stage together and it hit me just as the curtains were about to open that I was the only cabaret dancer on stage with tribal dancers. I looked to my right and than to my left and was overwhelmed by this kaleidoscope of color. It was the most amazing site I can remember seeing and I could only imagine the gasps from the audience at seeing the array of color unfolding before their eyes. I knew from this particular show that our times were changing. The troupe dynamic is very popular now especially with the edgy tribal vibe. Todays‘dancers are willing to take more risks and push the traditionalists’ boundaries. Each generation has to make their own way and as they do there will be dancers wanting to keep the old ways in tack by pushing back. Solo performing for me has always been an art because it takes tenacity and bravado to get out infront of people and perform. So you can imagine going out and performing after the stage was full of dancers performing in unison with grace and perfect timing. Your soul has to be willing to take up the whole stage. But I came to realize that dance is dance and if we don’t put censorship on it and try to define it than we can allow it to grow in the way that it needs to.
My next question has been on the front burner for awhile; how will the nightclubs deal with the new styles of dance becoming so popular? Music has changed too so this does help with the variety of dance styles occurring in our midst. Where does tradition and change exist together? I think this is where the stage comes in. It’s the one place where dancers won’t criticize each other at least until the end of the show. Creative expression is usually judged harsher by our own insecurities but than I’ve heard stories of inappropriate choreography in shows. Since we live life in so many different ways it is bound to happen that creative expression gets caught in between individual principles and values. Shock value isn’t usually what people go to a dance show for especially if they are bringing family and friends. I remember being a part of a show where a dancer had a flashlight and her dance was created around turning her flashlight on and off. I didn’t get it and neither did the audience but she had a really good time which I have to admit was disconcerting for me. So even an idea can cross the line of the bizarre and make an entire audience scratch their heads. One time I was dancing at a restaurant and my skirt was tucked into my underwear (by mistake). And I danced part of the first song with my right cheek saying hello to everyone. I did feel a breeze but than I was doing turns so I thought it was normal. The waitstaff cracked up laughing and one of the waitresses came over and pulled out my skirt, thank God! Just so you all know the owner of the restaurant was yelling at me through the bathroom door that my music was starting……ugh! But I did start dancing on time with my music even though I was giving the customers a show I never intended to give them. Fortunately there were no dancers for miles to giggle at me or give me that “Oh, I’m so embarrassed for you” look. The waitstaff was enough. Life can be a comedy where the jokes on you.
If we all pull together and create a community that makes each and every one of us feel safe than our diversity will make sense not only to our audience but also to ourselves. Self creativity that is selfish or blind to the comfort of others is the real issue here. We live in a world where we want to toot our own horn but we need to understand that we also fit in with a community that symbolizes all of us. So we have to understand that our new generation of dancers are bringing in their views of the world.
There are also world views that have been around for years and if we can bring together the old and the new than our future will be a potpourri of ideas and styles that compliment each other without clashing. There’s a quote that says; a critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car.
Sometimes we drive and other times we sit in the backseat. But either way the goal is to get to our dreams and aspirations all in one piece together. We represent a culture that reflects the realities of us dancing and working together every day. In a way we have always been diverse maybe we just didn’t know it. It seems to me diversity is the one thing we all have in common and knowing this makes the view from the back of the car or the drivers seat that much more beautiful.
When Do You Know it’s Time to Perform?
by Leyla Najma · 2 Comments
Sometimes I have had dancers come to my studio with horror stories regarding first time performances. Even as I write this I can remember my first performance many years ago in Taos, New Mexico. I had been training for two years and my first teacher felt it was time for me to debut my first choreography. If I wouldn’t have had the two years to prepare I probably would have passed out at the very thought of performing in front of people. But I was very fortunate because good training and lady luck changed my dance world.
The familiar horror stories seemed to be based on similar facts that made it clear that just because somebody has been dancing for a while doesn’t mean they are ready to dance publicly. The first experience a dancer has with dance should be given extra care by teachers and fellow dance friends alike. We all know that the real world is full of unexpected situations that pop up out of the blue. The first time out should be a rite of passage for dancers and a preparation for being on a stage and in front of a supportive audience. Student recitals are excellent ways for students to be in a “safe” environment. First time performances at restaurants can be just as safe if the studio or dance friends come along as a support system.
I know for some of you that this might seem like “Duh” Leyla but as Daniel was interviewing me for BDV today it occurred to me that I had students who came from other studios who were put in front of an audience without warning. A student named Maria comes to mind because she told me that without warning, her teacher had her go out and dance in front of an audience at a local restaurant in town. The studio was doing a monthly show at the restaurant and she felt that she was not ready to dance but that her teacher kept pushing her towards the stage. She was totally humiliated and ready to quit dancing. We had to start back to square one in order to get her past the experience and ready for a new future in belly dance. Our first class was dealing with the feelings of giving up before she ever got her feet on the ground. Five months later her debut was at a small coffee shop in town where she performed two choreographies that she put together herself. She was the best gift the Angels could have given me. To see her smile showing some attitude on stage reminded me that with divine timing and training the true essence of the belly dancer in everyone emerges ready to perform.
Sometimes we have students who jump at every chance to perform and with each individual student as teachers we have to decide how to prepare them on their belly dance path. Some are ready at 3 months while others don’t feel confident until 7 months to a year. We have to understand each students belly dance journey and sometimes that is easier said then done .
Another student told me that her teacher asked her take her place at a local restaurant knowing she had never danced publicly before. She didn’t tell her any details as to how to dress or what to expect. She told her to dance to her music and that she usually left her cds at the restaurant. When this student went to the restaurant in her teachers stead, the owner was not notified and upset and she found out her teacher had taken the cds with her the week before so there was no music to dance to. Unfortunately for her, she had to dance to the restaurant music which was a mishmash of Middle Eastern, Indian and Spanish music. And for a beginner dancing to music they have never heard before is like walking the plank knowing they will have to jump. At the end of the evening she said she felt deflated, unprepared, ignored by the patrons and treated rudely by the restaurant owner. She came to my studio a few weeks after her experience in tears.
There is always a flip side to every story and I have had them occur. I have had students perform and get drunk afterwards………start fights with other dancers and try to take gigs away from me. Maybe they weren’t ready to perform or maybe they just didn’t have any etiquette even with what I tried to teach them. Dance is a very personal endeavor so there is no telling what the story is of each student who walks into our studios or classes. Ultimately we have to know that with each student we did our best and that the belly dancer emerging within each of them knows when to come out and perform.
Birthday News!!
Just wanted you all to know that Daniels Birthday is April 21st which means Thursday! HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the best husband in the whole world!
Teacher’s Interview Corner (Belly Dance Village)
Look for Najla’s interview coming up the 23rd, this coming Saturday. It was a lot of fun talking with her so check out what Najla’s doing with her belly dancing in Ohio.
The Politics of Belly Dance
by Leyla Najma · 7 Comments
Last night my daughter, Savanah and I were going through my dance magazines for a school project and I decided just for fun to reminisce and read the variety of different issues I’ve collected. As I was looking at photos and reading different articles and checking out past workshops, I notice that my heart rate went up and I became agitated……okay I turned into a grump!
It was so weird and I had to actually stop and do something else for awhile so I could relax and get back to my normal (devil) self…..this is only according to Daniel!
Anyways it really bugged me that I reacted this way and I decided to do some recapitulating which basically meant chew on my feelings for awhile before I decided to go back to view my magazines again. It became increasingly clear to me why I was reacting the way I was and to be honest with you all, I thought that I was tootin and groovin along on my journey just fine and dandy with the past way behind me.
Being in the belly dance business for as long as I have and especially with it now being a family business has attracted the stark day to day reality of business as usual. This means “normalcy” occasionally wreaks havoc on my mental state and belly dance politics seeps in and makes itself at home. Remember the Buhz issue……..even from my little video room, drama has found her favorite corner lingering with a watchful eye.
Actually belly dance politics has made itself at home for many years and it ultimately always upstages any legit and positive idea regarding theatrical shows, workshops or staged events. So I know many of you might be wondering what is belly dance politics. First let’s look at the many ways to view the word politics so here are a few.
#1. The interrelationships between the people, groups, or organizations in a particular area of life especially insofar as they involve power and influence or conflict.
With this example it is clear that there is always influence coming into play with any type of venue because once you get a group of performers together, you start to see artistic rivalry. Small things matter which ultimately lead to big things and the end result is usually a purple people eating machine which changes the course of any show or theatrical production it comes into contact with. As a producer and director, sometimes I agreed to things out of necessity and then wanted to bang my head against the wall for agreeing to a change that didn’t feel good in my gut. The influence of the many is not always the right answer but sometimes it’s the easier perhaps least complicated way to go. As a producer or director always stick to your guns and pull them out if necessary to make sure the integrity of “your” artistic vision stays true to your divine inspiration! Otherwise your show will resemble a two headed baby that was not of your making plus you will usually be the one stuck taking care of it with everyone else too busy or out of sight.
#2. The use of tactics and strategy to gain power in a group or organization.
Wow, where do I start with this one?!! This example is a given especially when you have too many chiefs and not enough Indians working on a show. If you get one of the chiefs mad, the backstabbing starts and behind the scene agendas take on a whole new level of hissing and spewing out problems besides the occasional claws. Ever heard of, “problem+reaction= solution?” This particular strategy is one to watch out for because your miffed chief will create a problem, react to it and then “they” bring in the solution. The only problem here is when you have someone constantly creating problems; they tend to forget the solution part of the equation.
#3. Political persuasions or beliefs.
This last example reminds me of a dancer I used to know who had her own way of persuading people to do things the way she felt they should be done. The only problem is she would lie to venue agents or sponsors giving them a perverse way of looking at other dancers. Of course I knew what she did but for some reason I didn’t call her on it. And as you might have guessed, one day she did me the voodoo dance and I was out of a job. Add insult to injury, a few weeks later another experience occurred with this dancer that made me realize there is no safety net with her. We were both dancing at a new restaurant and they were deciding on keeping only one of us. I had other jobs so I was on the fence post about it but deep down inside I really wanted to dance there. The night I performed the crowded restaurant was full of people who knew me from other restaurants and yelled my name clapping and dancing while I performed my show. We all had a great time dancing and interacting with each other and the owners were thrilled people knew me and they hired me that night.
A few days later I received a phone call from them saying that something came up and at the moment they didn’t need me to dance. This was odd because they really seemed to like me. No drum roll please because I know you all know what happened. So I went to the restaurant the following weekend and guess who was dancing?!! The owners were embarrassed and came over to my table to let me know that they liked me but had heard that I was a very busy dancer and that I would occasionally come in late . They said they needed a dancer who could come in on time. My ho, hum attitude did an about face and I asked them to tell me where they heard this information. Just as they were going to answer me little Lolita came strolling over to say hello. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth came to my mind and I wanted to jump over the table and American woman her butt to the ground! I didn’t because the look on my face made her do an abrupt hello and good bye. End of a long story…………I ended up dancing there only to have them close within 9 months. And little Lolita went on to other restaurants wreaking havoc with other dancers along the way or so I was told.
So moral of this story………when I finally looked at my feelings, I realized that as I was looking through those glorious magazine pages, I remembered different occasions and experiences when my belly dance fantasy turned into real life drama. Obviously they are opposite sides of the same coin at least for some of us. Good experiences or bad experiences, the way I look at it, I lived belly dance, experienced belly dance, learned from belly dance and today as I write this I still eat, breath and sleep belly dance. Even with my occasional heart rate going up, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am who I am because I am a belly dancer!
